Chemo

Wake up and rush for the toilet and say my prayers Stomach races trying to catch up to the bowels emptying anxious Chemo the man said it takes a bit to get used to and I’ll ring you Take a lovely shower , feeling lovely, and ready for the day And the Sun is leading me out the door as I feel the gas Gas shoots liquid into my freshly put-on underwear Provocative isn’t it as I stagger up the stair and the warmth on my leg Showering again like it’s raining, tears form but no one see’s but you Lord Laying on the couch wishing I wasn’t alone but wanting to die Wishing for the end of this nightmare and know I’m not that strong But I must be because three months in and I’m feeling better And I’m not dead and my nose is pointed forward with purpose Back again, lying on old faithful and the tumbles of those famous chemo gases Boom Boom Boom We love you Toon Toon Toon We care Sweat as we run and tears flowing down Tears of sweat Boon a Toom Can’t get it straight I’ll be back just as soon as I can I can handle it , at night if dark I’ll candle it, lost my wallet panhandle it Chemo is brought through my soul and along with anaphylaxis is my friend I greet it with determination and ignore it and act as if it’s a new hockey stick and I’m young again We are playing the Russians and our team is the Flyers, and we’re gonna pound them I realize I’m sixty now and my legs are betraying me as are my lungs, what has happened to me Boom a Toon comes those legends that want me to go with them, Boon a Toom and I’m back and wards I go I start seeing friends I haven’t seen but they are much younger and my vision is getting blurry Boom Boom Boom We love you Toon Toon Toon We care Sweat as we run and tears flowing down Tears of sweat Boon a Toom Can’t get it straight I’ll be back just as soon as I can I thought he had died and the… PS: I’m okay I’m making light of this horrid life defining illness I have. It doesn’t own me its just a part of who I’ve become right now it’s like puberty at 60 with diarrhea and stomach vomit instead of acne and masturbation. I’m up now during the Fourth Watch and I’m praying. It’s quite a wonderful time to be gathered to God. Also I don’t pray because I’m afraid or I feel my time coming to an end or I’m expiring like corn flakes! I have found that God told me I have something to say and unlike Jonah I started to write. I didn’t want to wake up back in the belly of the beast. Because God can get very creative. Look where we came from in a few hundred years. From horses to horse-power and to traveling to space. So don’t worry, I’m far from the end , my friend. Just creative bugging along feeling my chemo oats of puberty. We can and will. I love open-ended sentences. Fill-in the… What is the Fourth Watch? Look it up but I’ll give you a hint. It’s clearly a time when God has chosen to open the valves in my brain and scream “Wake up Patrick I’ve known you before you were Patrick and I’ve had a plan for you this whole time. You are one of my greatest victories , slow but still!” If you are still reading I love you and care about you and never give up. There is always hope!!!