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Check Out the Checkout

CHECK    OUT    THE    CHECKOUT

(Two checkout girls having a tete-a-tete 
as customers pass through with their groceries)

Beep….That’s   $35:67.  Do you collect the elephant tokens? Cash or charge?
So,  Maria,  I was with Ernie last night as I was sayin’
Beep…..Sorry you have to weigh the potatoes
And he says to me c’mon lets go out someplace special
Well I thinks ok now we’re talkin’ …maybe a disco or a night club
No, not the red one, the big one with the elephant-photo
And he says what about a bottle of beer and a burger
and we’ll go back to your place and maybe….watch tv?  Hmmm?
Beep….The biscuits are on offer , this is El Cheapo Week, sir
So I sez, what kind of a girl do you think I am?!
Bottle of beer and  “watch tv”!!
Beep….Yes you can have it  this week at half price , sir
I sez, bottle of beer?!  I want at least a bottle of wine(in a glass bottle)
BEEP BEEP….Oh God, Jen, me machine’s on the blink
Call the super will you?. . .  while I hold this man’s sausage. . .  
before it gets cold. . . . yeah in a glass bottle , and 
some Chinese  food as well,  at a sit-down place, 
and not with paper plates either
Oh  God. . . I’ve just broken me nail on his big sausage…damn!
Oh thanks  Irene, the BEEPS are drivin’ me mad, it needs your key -
You have a way with these machines  hahaha
(Same with the fellas  I guess  hahaha)
Oh that’s it,  great. . . . .beep….. So then he sez   I can’t afford
freakin’ Chinese and glass-bottle wine
Yes  -   that’s  all sir?  Beep….$49:60 Do you collect the elephant tokens?
Cash or charge?  So I sez….beep….. well you’d better find the cash for Chinese 
or you won’t be watching    MY   tv  very often  Ernie.

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Written by Sydney Peck  for
FRANK   H.'s  Contest 	THE CONVERSATION

funnymenightmenightdramatic verse

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