Cheap Plastic Surgery
Was tired of my wrinkles
and crinkles around my eyes,
the ones around my mouth
and my forehead on my face,
and couldn't afford the real thing
so thought I'd use
some clear duct tape,
applying it around my
mouth, forehead and eyes,
that way my skin will
look newer and smoother than
a baby's behind,
and then thought
oh what the heck
I'll use it on my boobs
at the same time,
stretching the tape out
and wrapping it for
a lift all around my chest,
that way it'll look like
that area gravity had missed,
and then I thought
might as well apply
some to my rear end,
applying the tape
so my butt looked tight again,
and then being on a roll
I took some more tape
to my thighs and calves,
to make them look more sleek and toned,
like a models in Cosmopolitan,
but then I noticed trying to answer
the door after the bell rang,
that I'd become sort of like the tin man,
because I couldn't walk and talk
and desperately needed an oil can!
Copyright © Cheryl Hoffman | Year Posted 2016
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