Chastity Belt Bespoke Fitter

i am a ye olde chastity belt maker and fitter
Fitting is free
I love my occupation
As I hold the key
For an emergency

Their men want them fitting
While they are away at war
And my services are required
More and more
Something I adore.

The women beg me to set them free
And I give them what they need
For a fee.

So need a chastity belt? 
Don't buy a cheap imitation from Hong Kong.
They have sharp edges and not that strong.

Just send me a E- arrow
And I'll be there quicker than a falcon after a sparrow.

This weeks special offer hurry!
Buy two get one free
I aim to please
If I still have the energy.

I'm very popular you  know
So come on wenches and ye olde maidens
Give me a go How else you gonna know?.






Peter Dome. copyright.2014. July.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

A  Avatar
July 13, 2015 at 12:35 AM
PETER, Congratulations on having your poem featured this coming week. **SKAT**
Dome Avatar
July 13, 2015 at 4:26 AM
Hi Skat. great to hear from you . hope you are keeping ok. Thank you so much, it was a nice surprise, it was an old one now. take good care. my very best wishes. Pete.
Guillermo - Fraser Avatar
August 18, 2014 at 10:27 AM
hilarious but very clever write.. :) like the first three stanzas. :D! :P God bless you.. :D, olive eloisa
Dome Avatar
July 12, 2015 at 11:36 AM
Thank you so much friend. so glad you enjoyed it. So kind of you to stop by. take good care. my very best wishes. Pete.
Devonshire Avatar
August 10, 2014 at 6:31 PM
LOL This is so witty, Peter. I didn't know this was your occupation, but I have no use for your wares :D. You have a gift for making people laugh and I see nothing better than that in life! (Just saw your comment on the youtube boy at the fair. My goodness, he was a hoot!) Love and blessings, Carolyn
Dome Avatar
August 10, 2014 at 6:41 PM
Hi Carolyn. great to hear from you. hope your ok. I'm blown away by your kind comment on making people laugh. that's what I aim to do/. I loved that little guy. so serious and a real pro. hope he makes it but it doesn't spoil him. A star in the making. thank yiu so much take care. warm best wishes. Pete.
Duggan Avatar
August 5, 2014 at 7:24 PM
Oh Peter very good, loved it from start to finish Take care my friend............ Queen Vera......
Dome Avatar
August 5, 2014 at 7:32 PM
Vera my friend. how good to hear from you. so glad you enjoyed ye olde poem. I haven't got a shop in Oz yet, not been discovered.ha ha. hope your well. my very best wishes. Pete. Your majesty.
Corbin Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 9:31 AM
I wish I had known thee prior to my first crusade. The harlot had duplicate keys made. What a wench...Thanks for the fun read, Peter.
Dome Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 10:18 AM
Thank you My friend. I think I remember you from Knight school. you can't trust wenches these days. should have been one of my models. The one's from Hong Kong are easy keys to duplicate. Good look on your next crusade. take care. Pete.
Dome Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 8:50 AM
Fan we have the peak district on our doorstep. Nottinghamshire too. the Yorkshire dales are beautiful. don't forget the steam train. hope hope you have a great time. Rock? what rock?. Alcatraz?. thank you have fun. best wishes. Pete. P.S I have just the belt for you. tee hee.
Andresen Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 8:40 AM
- A really excellent sales from Hong Kong ...... a good quality ???? - Ha, ha, ha .... enjoy reading, Peter !! - oxox // Anne-Lise :))
Dome Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 8:54 AM
Thank you Anne Lise. I think I might open a ye olde shop in Sweden come to think about it ha ha. Hope your ok. I do take credit cards. and free fitting. ha ha take care. best wishes. Pete.
Allison Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 8:07 AM
LOL Peter this is so amusing Just dont lose your keys!. Hugs Jan xxx
Allison Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 8:28 AM
LOL Peter ... not been to Derby for about 4 years - we are off to Yorkshire dales next week - not been there for 20 odd years can't wait to leave our little rock for a few days:-) Hugs Jan xxx
Dome Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 8:26 AM
Funny enough I can't find them anywhere, those poor women. er I don't suppose I can fit you one?. special discount and free fitting?. There soon to be in fashion. Very popular with jailbirds women. thank you. been to Derby from Nottingham a few times. Love the Derby road, and Westfield shopping centre. Off to the Nottingham river festival tomorrow might see you there. I'll pack a few belts if you wish, we'll find some bushes for a private fitting.best wishes. Pete.
Harrell Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 7:30 AM
Lol, oh so you have the key, huh? The men are the fools to trust you :) Great one. Love it
Dome Avatar
July 31, 2014 at 8:29 AM
What do you mean?. I'm a good boy I am. don't forget this weeks special offer. buy one get one free. do you a special price any day. Ha ha. thank you Pete.
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace