Change That Hurts

Clueless as to who I am now. And to my changing actions. My sleep seems to not be as sleep should be, I am often reminded of things I did while sleeping that I had not even the slightest clue I did. Trying to relax my mind and calm but not at all for still seems to happen. now I have become someone I don't even know myself, And I don't think it's ok or even the slightest bit good, slowly loosing control over my emotions and jealousy creeps in. Little by little and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. In truth If decided to seek out else or find a happy that won't hurt I would never give the wrong because I'm to be blame, love , joy, happiness , trust, comfort etc. that's the real facts of relationship but it seems as if I have been lacking in all and affecting the one who I love, , And now I do see that problem is spelled-DWAYNE MORGAN- And hurt follows in reverse And and the facts of a good life for her is blocked by the bold caps letters and a head so thick that can't even pic up on a signal even if it drops on my head. I now see that Instead of an asset I have become a liability to her , depreciating as time goes by and soon il probably be the decimal point before all the zeros( no place value)..