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Caution and Joy (Stanza 1)

Hey PoetrySoupers, I'm writing a chant royal and wanted to get your input on the separate
stanzas before I meld them into one chant royale. If you could criticize some particulars
or concepts, feel free, as I will put them to good use.

I thought that once I tread the plank of bliss--
As glad as I could be, 'cept for a thing:
I wished to be relieved the blinds I miss
Of late, but then I dreamt and dreamt to fling
The wretched cloth t'wards the glimmering sea,
Or t'wards my friends that accompanied me.
They brought me there with joy, upon their hands,
And let me down on this outcrop to stand.
I now am a different kind of scare,
Then, crying, "Remove doubt! Remove the bands!"
But Love and Joy do not stay when aware.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

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Date: 11/6/2008 3:16:00 PM
great concept bravo!
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