Catholic In America

Incense clings in the air great clouds stealing into dark corners of stained wood and cold marble floors. I watch the casket roll by and memories take me. Unwilling. Here I knelt on red velvet cushions and confessed my darkest sins. Mortal an venial. Hats, white gloves strewn on benches -- hard as the dogma they taught. My summer uniform a red bow tie, seersucker pants, white bucks. Why was Christ always in agony? After we begged him for love, back at the apartment above Auburndale Plumbing Supply, a stream of aunts would come, hover around the stove, basting the roast, mashing potatoes. They sang Irish ballads and "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." The talk was of Jack and Jackie, American saints. A Catholic in the White House ... finally. My uncles downed red and white colored cans of Rheingold ... talked of fishing trips, concrete and drywall, the ******* down South. "Jesus. They're making trouble." Uncle Dennis clipped open his silver lighter and lit a Lucky Strike. We hushed when he spoke of the Battle of the Bulge ... Cuba ... Russia. I fought off his embrace ... the smell of smoke and whiskey. On the living room wall, the Sacred Heart dripped blood ... and made me wonder. All these years in heaven, and Jesus was still looked sad.