Catapulting Bears

I once lived in high Montana and I knew a man who live there, went by the name Rodrigo, known to most for his wild hair. But Roddy didn’t grow it long to try and impress some girl, Roddy was a history nut, obsessed with the medieval world. He had all sorts of goblets, tankards, and great drinking horns, he must’ve owned a dozen swords, but was always buying more. Roddy owned full chain-mail armor, wore it to the renaissance fair, and he paid no heed to the folks who would shake their heads and stare. But Roddy’s greatest possession was one he built with his own hands, Roddy had a full-sized catapult and would launch stuff across his land. One day I went to see my friend and he was launching things out back. He said,”Get me that watermelon, and we’ll launch our next ‘attack.’” We loaded up the giant fruit, and laughed as it took to flight, said he,”If launching fruit be wrong then to hell with being right!” Next we took a bunch of apples to achieve a shot-gun effect. I cracked a joke and Roddy laughed, so hard we didn’t see what came next. A black bear in the woods nearby saw the apples in their pile, and wouldn’t find a meal that good if he wandered a dozen miles. He ran out onto the scoop while we were both still laughing, Roddy pulled the lever, unaware, and he sent the bear a-flying! The bruin’s moan caught us both as apple and bear too to sky, across the field to lodgepole trees did the beast and his lunch fly. He disappeared in the branches, vanishing from our line of sight, I stood stunned, said to Roddy, “Should we go see if it’s allright?” Roddy shrugged and started walking, we both made our way over there, high up in an old lodgepole pine sprawled a frightened, confused bear. The branches had broken the fall, saved the beast from being dead, I said to Roddy,”We should go before that bear can clear its head.” Roddy took a picture on his phone to prove what had happened that day, then we beat a hasty retreat before the bear could come our way. To this day Roddy still recounts, in his booth at renaissance fairs, how catapults can launch anything, even hungry and wayward bears.