Notes About The Poem

Castles In the Sand

Picture a man’s solitary stroll on a sandy seaside,
Early time of day, just a short time after low tide,
Water almost calm, gentle waves lapping the shore,
Early morning sun brilliantly blazing the horizon.
Feel the wonderful breeze…smell the salty ocean air…  
See, hear the jaegers, gulls and terns flying without a care.

The soothing sounds of the wind, water and gulls
Are suddenly intruded upon by the sad cries of a small child.  
"What's wrong?" the man kindly asks, as he kneels beside her.
"Someone knocked down my sandcastle," is her reply, tears flowing. 
"Don't worry little one, I'll help you build another." 
To the little girl's delight, the man smooths away the sand,
In preparation for a newer, bigger, better sandcastle.

Soon his concentration is broken by frantic cries for help.  
Looking out over the water, he sees a tiny figure, 
Desperately clinging to one of the buoys marking the deep-water.
Running to the water’s edge, he clearly sees another little girl, 
Close in age to the first, whose swimming has carried her too far,  
And now she perilously clings to the buoy, unable to swim back.

The man returns to the first girl 
And continues to build the sandcastle.
"The girl in the water is safe for now", he assures himself.
"As long as I can hear her cries for help, 
I know her head is above water. 
Besides, this other little girl's problem came first.
As soon as I am done with her sandcastle, 
I will most certainly rescue the other one..."

And so, the man does build the sandcastle, 
One more magnificent than the first.  
All the while he builds, he continues to hear 
The desperate cries from the second little girl.  
By sandcastle’s finish, her cries have become weaker, less frequent.
"Are you happy now?" he asks the first little girl. 
"Oh yes," she cries, "thank you sir...."
As she joyfully dances around her new sandcastle.

With that, the man springs into action, 
Just as the girl in the water slips off the buoy and goes under.  
He reaches her in record time with all the strength he can muster,
Expertly positioning her on her back with her face above water.
Wasting no time or effort he makes his way back to shore,
As more and more people gather to cheer on the savior.  
He gives CPR -after several coughs, water clears lungs, a life is not lost.
As if on cue, the rescue team arrives, transporting her to hospital. 
Extremely grateful parents and the city honor him as a hero.

So what say you?  Is such a man deserving of honor?
How would the parents react If they knew the rest of the story?
Especially since he was the lifeguard assigned to beach patrol!

Now, friends, after considering all of this fuss,
The question bears asking, what about us?
Are we making sure of more important things,
Or are we busy building castles in the sand?






***
November 6, 2019
F T I series 20 sea
Brian Strand, sponsor
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Barry-Nishanian Avatar
February 16, 2021 at 4:22 AM
Mark, you blow me away. This is terrific, would make a nice children's book! What ya think?
Toney Avatar
February 26, 2021 at 9:35 AM
Thank you, Barbara! Children and adults, yeah?
Gauthier Avatar
May 24, 2020 at 1:25 AM
Well constructed ~ your twist at the end is the perfect way to turn things around to give the reader food for thought on the difference between what's important and what's urgent. Well done.
Toney Avatar
July 30, 2020 at 12:11 PM
Line, I so much appreciate these nice comments you made after your contest. I don't know how I missed them. It is so encouraging to read them now. Take care! ~Mark
Drowley Avatar
November 15, 2018 at 3:04 PM
Mark, The question you ask at the end of your poem is a great one in our age of distraction. Thank you for keeping your eye on what is important!
Toney Avatar
November 16, 2018 at 11:17 PM
You are very welcome, David. Thank you for your perceptive comment :)
Jeyaseelan Avatar
June 15, 2018 at 5:37 AM
Really great poem!! Made me think how I prioritize things in my life........ Loved reading it.
Toney Avatar
June 15, 2018 at 9:58 AM
Jenifer, that's what I was going for. I'm glad it worked. :) I appreciate your taking the time to read both of my longest poems, then following through to encourage me too.
Gentry Avatar
June 15, 2018 at 1:28 AM
Easy to say what someone else should be doing all the while we build our own sandcastles and neglect our own duties. We never seem to have time when actually we chose how we spend our time. At first I thought this too exaggerated but really it is clever how you did this. Great short story!
Toney Avatar
June 15, 2018 at 9:54 AM
Susan, I appreciate the candor and depth of your comment. And your exclamation is icing on the cake! :) Thank you for taking the time.
Macdonald Avatar
June 15, 2018 at 1:09 AM
Really beautifully written . Makes a person think and question their own lives and what they are doing and where they really want to be. Very nice poem
Toney Avatar
June 15, 2018 at 9:51 AM
Maxie, thank you for your kind, gracious comment. I am so glad you enjoyed it.
Duncan Avatar
June 14, 2018 at 6:02 PM
Some kinda story :)
Toney Avatar
June 14, 2018 at 7:48 PM
Debbie, your stopping by is some kinda wonderful :) Thanks for taking the time.
Tinadrua Avatar
May 24, 2018 at 9:50 PM
this one is tricky !
Toney Avatar
May 24, 2018 at 9:53 PM
LOL -Thanks, Ulamila :)
Krutsinger Avatar
May 24, 2018 at 7:20 AM
Now that we know the rest of the story, I'm irritated with that so-called hero, of course. It was clever the way you tricked us into wondering what was going to happen, expecting the worst, then giving us the second worst. Clever not to give us all of the details too soon. A clever poem, Mark.
Toney Avatar
May 24, 2018 at 9:14 AM
That was what I was hoping to achieve. I appreciate your encouraging feedback, Caren.
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