Caren Caren

Middle of the night Caren is here. She jumped out of bed, and she blew me a kiss. My clue to stay put, next to the dog, no small feat As we share the same body. I decided to see where she was taking us, So I jumped out of bed too, and began Gingerly walking around all the junk on the floor Toy soldiers, cars, a race track or two. Loud Caren let out a SCREAM from the bowels of hell As the right foot stepped down hard on a small green metal car, Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Three of the Carens screamed As the other Carens rolled their eyes; this being no biggie to them. I-Am-In-Pain Caren who had been to a health screening, urgent care, and emergency room Today, from 7 a.m. until 1:30, began to laugh, and then cry as laughing had our body in big pain today. “What is your pain like?” the dark-haired nurse who could not get the blood drawn the first five tries, asked. “It’s like someone has plunged a long metal sword into my right side,” Report Caren had told her. “On a scale of 1 to 10, what is the pain level?” the nurse asked, her face pretending interest. “It’s 0, 10, 0, 10, 0, 10,” Snotty Leave-Me-Alone Caren reported. “So, it’s an average 4?” The nurse asked. Mean-spirited Caren thought, “Since when is the average of 0, and 10 four?” “No,” Correct-Them-If-You-Can- Caren said. “It is 0, then 10, 0, then 10, zero, then 10.” Dark-hair wisely decided to try and do an IV drip then. “Do you want us to add something for pain?” “Yes!” six of the Caren’s screamed. Hypnotize-Myself-Caren took the other Carens to the other side of the brain While teaching nurse and learning nurse tried to get in the I.V.in three or four places. “Sorry, hon, your veins blew.” “Oh, sorry hon, Sorry.” “Sorry, hon.” Yelling Caren was screaming OUCH! That hurts as Big bad Daddy Joe was trying To shush us, which delighted us, making us laugh, and hurting our side more. Mad-As-Hell Caren gave him the bad finger. Delightful Caren was excited to be snoring minutes later. “Is she asleep?” one inept nurse asked the other. We were loud snoring now. Loud heavy deep-breathed snoring. “This is a first for me,” dark-hair said to light-hair. “I’ve never had a patient fall asleep when I was putting an IV in. I’ll bet not. Then she tried this, “CAREN! CAREN!” My husband took off his ear buds and informed them I was out of body. There was no way to bring me back until I was good and ready. And I wasn’t. They rapidly left and my husband who knows me said, “Good show,” We could have laughed. But laughing hurts our side, so We continued loud elaborate snoring. Drama Queen Caren was in the control tower!