Caregiving Stories

The Tyrant Was born ginger and learned WhiteRacist from Dad dead now about a year. Possibly opioid addiction but certainly something in growing families of yin-suppressed self-medicating LeftBrain too dominant addictions to chemical acclimations. Dad left by death Tyrant's also addicted and chronically depressed mother And his only white racist twelve year old ginger son, Who looked disturbingly like me when I was twelve so many fading domesticating decades ago. The Tyrant was delivered to my condominium door as a weekend emergency because his self-medicating mourning Mom finally used up life insurance money was also out of medication mostly out of LeftBrain consciousness totally out of custodial luck Because someone in LeftBrain SocialWorker Deductive Heaven declared it would be more therapeutically restorative for Tyrant Son, who adored his loving Mom, and missed his admittedly racist Dad and for his Professionally Kept Mother to live apart until she could afford to give more robust care with him. Instead they paid me more than enough to share our home and food So he could feel guilty about building a nutritious life deprived of her And she could feel raped by loss of his smell and touch, All she had left of her ranting husband with life insurance figuring he was worth no less than $10,000. The Tyrant stayed six months to finish out his school year where he had been while living in a motel with his Mom and eating out in restaurants until the ten thou ran out as did her credit cards. Then I had to explain he would not stay longer because he verbally abused, hate crimed, bullied my two younger and smaller African-American sons in their own non-N-word home where they should feel at least safe and at best unconditionally loved. The GayBoy The GayLatino came because his foster home trail of several sordid years was too homophobic to feel at home when his *****hormones kicked in or even around foster over-populated housing. That my AfricanAmerican husband and GingerMe are gay was both the reason they called and the reason they kept a sharp supervisory suspicious eye. GayLatino had been sexually active within prior foster homes, although I suspect I only heard the safest of these stories. Anyway, GayLatino came with acne and his hands across his smile to not offend with badly misaligned neglected teeth, and stoop shouldered body language. More of a sad sloucher than a gay glad athlete. But we visited an orthodontist several times and his acne went away with treatment, and his gay foster dads did not touch other than a rare hug after having been granted temporary permission. GayLatino looked in his 17 year old mirror and saw that it was VERY BUENO and told me he would live with his grandmother as he moved out to live with his new lover and his new lover's not-well-boundaried mother. Now GayLatino had lived with his grandmother right after surviving a drug bust with a full blown urban SWAT that pulled his Pops into prison and his lovely fading Mom out to hardrock streets. The family meth business was no more and all she knew to feed her addictions was to compromise her personal sacred space and time for PrimeRelationships. GayLatino was badly hurt by his parents' lack of regard for his, and his brothers', health and safety, Angry and afraid about lack of care for their own health and safety, and what this might portend for his own healthy-wealthy future. His family anchor was his grandmother, his jaded Mother's mother, Who was sad about her daughter and loved her Gay grandson-- now with handsome spanish-smiling teeth and slick hair grooming breathlessness. While GayLatino had briefly lived with her as an emergency foster placement, she could not keep him or his brothers because she could not provide a healthy household budget to prove capable to wealth afford them without a foster care-receiving stipend. Some Professional SocialWorker undoubtedly from Too-Ivoried Heaven, had supremely declared Relatives are socially preferred placements for ecopolitical foster care BUT relatives cannot economically need foster care stipends that a nonrelative care-provider may legitimately require to adequately budget room and board. It is this State Policy, more therapeutic to pay a stranger than to give foster care ransom to a loving grandmother so she can afford to be his preferred more therapeutic restorative resident healthcare provider as she cared for him, off and on, his whole pre-gay life. I still reassuringly hear and see him smile from time to time through FaceBook pictured captions.