Career Angst
Studying for hours on a subject that I love and despise
Grappling with words and definitions
Trying to make sense out of all the confusion and complexities
Of ethical hacking, security, and intrusion detection
Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing
Studying technology rather than art or the humanities
For within them my passion lies
But somehow I am always drawn to the almighty dollar
Knowing I can make a living, even if it kills my soul
Anxiety-ridden, insecurity-driven
And I march on, like a good soldier
Pursuing that which allows me to survive
Who was it that says there are two sides to every person?
I’ve often thought that, although for me it isn’t good or bad
But rather heart and mind, soul and survival
Starving artist or thriving consultant
For three years I sailed around the world
Hoping I’d found my new calling in life
But in the end, reason took over, and I returned
Like a pig to the trough, consuming ideas and information
To shore up my vessel, preparing it for another journey
Into the vast oceans of the world, all my futures
Depend on my success here
My soul cries out, hoping I have made the right choice
Allowing me to pursue my passions, through monetary gains
A boat cannot buy itself
The money must come from somewhere
In a perfect world, money would not be required
We would be free to pursue our passions
Without worry of the cost, or the inability to feed ourselves
But alas, this is not the world I live in, despite my desires
So I must carry on, study on, memorizing definitions and algorithms
Passing the tests is all that matters now
To earn my degree, gain the new skills
Keeping my eye on the prize
And someday, sailing off into the sunset, with my pockets full
of the gold pieces required, to blow the man down
--All my writings are at mraymus.medium.com
Copyright © Matt Ray | Year Posted 2021
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