Can'T We Just Start It All Again L Contrary L

I had this question in my mind is there any common ground that we can find and I looked for it signs and I didn't get any their are a millions of thoughts in my mind but I haven't really given them a thought ...any but while yesterday I was training I tried to figure out all the situations that has happened between us I tried to map them and make a network of what was wrong happening between us then I got a text from a friend "you have tried enough ,now it's time to clean up. Just make a list of things you have done for her and she did for you. You have disgraced yourself ,can you held your chin up ?" that makes me thinking blinking it took me some time to sink in and understand what he is trying to say that I took too much of time caring for her and I am too much out of my way and she ain't no slim and I ain't no Dre and if I would have put even 10% of the efforts for someone else, she would have been madly in love with me I would have been her sunshine and she would have been my ray But she is unlike any other girl ... Whatever you say... "come on man !! let me give you a perspective, if you may" I get that dawg when I think about it now it makes me pissed off and i Imagine her thinking that I am a head now at this point I felt so dizzy breezy all the winds are against me girl do you want to just kill me ?no ? You've already done that indirectly so.. yeah he is right ! I understand what you said there bro I let myself down while caring for her or maybe I Am A Freak instead I treated her like a cheesecake , even when she was a burnt bread and she knew she didn't deserve it I treated her like an angel and I thought that it was perfect but she seem to be nice but now I am allergic of this girl not being clear In her mind but I had it my minds almost static now I am too illmatic it's time to be an addict of the game again because I have disgraced myself I am in shame again Now i have to prove myself worthy again don't think I am angry on you Pac it's just me being lame again On you i could never be angry enough, its me on whom I'll put the blame again because I wasn't good enough! right? I thought you may remember my birthday That you might wish me say that you miss me I am sick of this trickery but now I am done I am ahead of me there are a lot of words I said sorry I didn't mean it but I wanted you to see what has happened to me now you have seen it you know that I adore you but now it's time to go above you I am fed up of seeing you happy, ignorant and with no pain while inside I am all angry and insane yeah I will say that now WE CAN'T and I DON'T WANT US to start it all again...