Can I Have Me

Can I have me?, am I allowed to be myself Even if I was laying on the ground, bleeding to death, I wouldn't shout for any help I cut the world off to keep my peace of mind But I still write poetry to give you a piece of mine Go off topic like a kid colouring who can't keep in lines But I'm that poetical, even when I speak I rhyme The world is an addict, it needs my lines Give you my heart so you can bleed in mine Follow my words, I can lead the blind I've felt the world, My shoulders hold it I'm slowly becoming your favourite bipolar poet I feel more attached to every ex who said they're Done with me for good But when I have them, I can't handle their Company and love I used to love her, I still do, I probably will tomorrow But no matter what my head says, my heart can't seem to follow Listening to Drake while I'm thinking about her Saying cheers to everyone else, but I'm drinking about her Hoping this Vodka will help me forget But instead, its got me typing to her & unable to spell in texts Someone please take my phone off me, I need support I need my bed, I'm too drunk to comprehend these thoughts I may aswell send the text, what's the worse that'll happen? But in the morning I know I'll wish I could reverse my actions Force myself to believe that she doesn't deserve my passion Pushed her away due to depression, told her the reasons why when I got better But she said she wanted nothing to do with me & we'll never be together Said she couldn't be with an ex self-harmer and my pride was gone Thinking why have I survived this long? I'm not ashamed but I'm not proud either Done with trying to be a crowd pleaser I'm 5 years free now, 3 years when I told you all of this Now no one will get through my wall of bricks Love can come my way again, but I won't fall for it Take Cupids arrow, snap it in half, give half each to Demi Lovato & Ariana Grande, have a threesome To keep you off my mind, but the image of you is stuck on rerun Stuck between, I'm done with it I'm numb to it And I'm becoming it I gave so much of myself to the world, you Had me I'm going through the motions, but I'm trying to make it through I wrote this for me, I'll fill out another page for you But right now I need to regroup, so please Can I have me?