Email Poem

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Poem
Can I have me?, am I allowed to be myself
Even if I was laying on the ground, bleeding to death, I wouldn't shout for any help
I cut the world off to keep my peace of mind
But I still write poetry to give you a piece of mine
Go off topic like a kid colouring who can't keep in lines
But I'm that poetical, even when I speak I rhyme
The world is an addict, it needs my lines
Give you my heart so you can bleed in mine
Follow my words, I can lead the blind
I've felt the world, My shoulders hold it
I'm slowly becoming your favourite bipolar poet
I feel more attached to every ex who said they're Done with me for good
But when I have them, I can't handle their Company and love
I used to love her, I still do, I probably will tomorrow
But no matter what my head says, my heart can't seem to follow
Listening to Drake while I'm thinking about her
Saying cheers to everyone else, but I'm drinking about her
Hoping this Vodka will help me forget
But instead, its got me typing to her & unable to spell in texts
Someone please take my phone off me, I need support 
I need my bed, I'm too drunk to comprehend these thoughts 
I may aswell send the text, what's the worse that'll happen?
But in the morning I know I'll wish I could reverse my actions 
Force myself to believe that she doesn't deserve my passion
Pushed her away due to depression, told her the reasons why when I got better
But she said she wanted nothing to do with me & we'll never be together 
Said she couldn't be with an ex self-harmer and my pride was gone
Thinking why have I survived this long?
I'm not ashamed but I'm not proud either
Done with trying to be a crowd pleaser
I'm 5 years free now, 3 years when I told you all of this
Now no one will get through my wall of bricks
Love can come my way again, but I won't fall for it
Take Cupids arrow, snap it in half, give half each to Demi Lovato & Ariana Grande, have a threesome
To keep you off my mind, but the image of you is stuck on rerun
Stuck between, I'm done with it
I'm numb to it
And I'm becoming it
I gave so much of myself to the world, you Had me
I'm going through the motions, but I'm trying to make it through
I wrote this for me, I'll fill out another page for you
But right now I need to regroup, so please Can I have me?
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