Call To Arms

(* to be read in the style of Heny V before the battle of Agincourt) To arms! To arms! Men of the Shires, rouse from your winter sleep the game's afoot, waste no more time abed, to Hardware stores you have a date to keep, fight through the drapes of cobwebs in your sheds. To arms! Unshackle pasting tables, wipe the trays for paint rollers not used in many moons, the paint brushes that have seen better days left to go hard in pickle jars since June. To arms! The squeaky front gate mocks you as you pass, the peeling paper teases in the hall, Greenhouse offends thine eye with broken glass house number upside down upon the wall. To arms! Onward, onward you face your foe alone tirelessly strive, no weaknesses, no flagging, your only ally, her true colours shown through bouts of sharp critique and constant nagging. To arms! We few, we happy few with common bond will tackle each new challenge with no fear for though the day be long you see beyond, when all is done you're off to have a beer. To arms!