Call Me

“I can’t come to the phone right now, But leave your name and number And I’ll call you back soon. Beep!” Her voicemail is full. I end the call. Redial. “I can’t come to the phone right now, But leave your name and number And I’ll call you back soon. Beep!” Listening to the message over and over Can’t replace the hole she’s left. I run my battery dry calling her, Replaying videos I can quote word for word. I read every comment on her Instagram posts, Scroll through memories I barely recall With people I don’t recognize. I pick out her smile in a crowd, Follow the flash of teeth To a random girl I don’t know. I’ve gotten used to disappointing myself. I’ve gotten used to her absence. I can listen to her favorite songs, Flip through her pictures, Reread her journals and poems, But I can’t find the girl I used to be.