Calculating Cat

We are besieged in our garden By a calculating Cat Who’s decided we’re its Humans And that’s the end of that. It’s there every morning Sitting in our Patio chair And when we go to bed It’s still sitting there. It disappears at odd times For various reasons of its own But for the vast bulk of the day We are seldom left alone. The slightest movement on our part Arouses it from its apparent slumber And it’s up to the French Door Giving us the Evil Eye Number. We’re resisting wholeheartedly With all our body and soul But day by day we feel It’s nearer getting in control. Friends and family all tell us There’s many worse fates than that Of being the Chosen Carer Of a Wily Calculating Cat. It’s standing on the step now Giving me that unwavering stare Just to emphasise the point That it’s still waiting there. I noticed cat food on the shopping list. I tell Sue its not a matter of the cost. If we just crack once and feed it We’ll be forever lost, lost, lost. We’ve brushed it and combed it And it got a little huffy But at least now a days It’s less unkempt and scruffy And, of course its still waiting Patiently out the back. It’s a tense war of nerves As to which of us will crack.