Busting My Zip
Getting ready to go to the big school
Was such a worrying thing
I heard grim tales of bullies
The teachers and the cane
And when I saw the savages
Get of the bus and fight
The worry almost drove me insane.
I remember my mother taking me
for a new school uniform
In the Army and Navy stores
Trying on twenty uniforms
Or more.
My mother chose a blazer
Far too big for me
It looked like a parachute
And so long in went below the knee.
It would have been better a poor lad
Three times as big as me.
She said ''well, you'll grow in to it.''
Thirty years later I'm still waiting.
My trousers were so baggy
A gust of wind and I would almost fly
You could see me fly by.
When I got to school
Out of nearly 2,000 other pupils
I stuck out like a sore thumb
I was so embarrassed
Thanks to mum.
The zippier on my trousers was always bursting
Because I was so fat
I'd go to the matron
Who aid I spoke the Queens English
Give me a safety pin for my zipper
And that was the end of that.
Sometimes the button would fly off my trousers
Suddenly and my trousers would fall down
I had to pull them up and hold them in place
With one hand
And hold my blazer
over my crotch
You can imagine the strange looks that Got.
Yes the one who said, ''School days are the happiest days of your life''
Well
They never went to my school, mine was Hell.
Peter Dome. Copyright.2015. May.
Copyright © Peter Dome | Year Posted 2015
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