Burning Paper Houses

Slowly creeping out of winter Would it ever be the same If I showed up at your door Out of breath, out of line With a million excuses behind my manic behavior? A video diary full of verbal hints to find through camera fractures Indirect messages, cold and desperate Slowly creeping out of winter The aching wrinkles of my hands tell me it was nothing short of brutal I said we'd do it this year, You sighed and said “I hope so” I said there's nothing left of me to share You shrugged and said “I wouldn't know” And I can’t relate, But you wouldn't dare to apprise me this was all a mistake It didn't have to end this way, Dying at the bottom of a hole in the earth But they say all's well that ends well But how could sutured lips expatiate a destination when the future remains a secret only time would tell? The rotted mask on your face, I can’t see through But I can hear your regretful recitation running through the landline poles Its now the only part of you there is for me to know A disposition, once torrid and comforting Slowly creeping out of winter Falling snowflakes no longer graze my skin, They stick as sharpened, chilling splinters It’s a fine line between becoming less sensitive and not being accommodated for It’s a page-turner of violent folklore; A forest of trees growing to appease the planter Every grain of hope in an hourglass, falling longer and lonelier I marched to the beat of everyone else’s drum before screaming through a once melodic encore Is it really a happy ending if I'm still emotionally scarred? You’re no better than my morality that’s left me stranded But did I really get what I wanted if I’m still emotionally lost? Was the conviction overruled if I was never really caught? Was I left uninformed at yours or my expense? Or was I just too young to know? Awaken, adapt, recover I thought I saw you throwing your patience out a hotel window You were just too young to know! Covert frowns going unnoticed until the kin conform to growing old 5 'o'clock shadows turn to greybeards Graduation caps and income tax will show why you were just too young to know I couldn’t contain you in real life Just as much as I can’t contain you in my head You’re a self-reading book that never ends And every lie folds the pages so the sentences never make sense I’ve always been the one chasing a firefly with broken wings, marking the way to darkness Awaken, adapt, recover, I digress! Holding hope over her head like a ing parachute Its criminal And it feels like I won, but I’m the one who got so personal This is a dream I'm chasing off of cliffs, without a parachute Defying gravity and never taking a stand on anything You're the bystander effect with a cigarette and a suit Knitting heart strings together like the web of a spider But just because it's weaved harmonious and intricate Doesn't mean it isn't a trap I'm biting entire nails off Waiting to catch a crimson glance from you So my insides can start a fire more organically While you're rejoicing in the silenced parallel play, This is one indignation away From you being my savior of organ failure, though halfheartedly But the flame of the blame is not lit under me Its lit under your voices of accountability When they start getting cold feet It didn't have to end this way But all's well that ends well? and how could sutured lips expatiate a culmination when the future remains a secret, only time will tell? It didn’t have to end this way And tell me that you feel this wasn’t a mistake Grains of sand in the hourglass of our time together Falling lonelier and progressively somber I carved the rhythms of your affection into my tongue before screaming through a once melodic encore It’s just what you wanted, I’m cascaded in blankets, consoled by the fire While you’re staring at the sky, waiting for the gray to retire, Slowly creeping out of winter