Bubble Gum and Spit

'Tis said that baseball is as American as turkey and punkin pie. There's nothin' more excitin' than a triple play or a 'homer' on the fly! Though somewhat distractin' from the game that I am diagnosin', Are the peculiar mannerisms of the players that I find so engrossin'! Some hand signals by the manager seem to be downright rude! When he's nose-to-nose with the ump tryin' to stir up a feud, He jaws and kicks the turf and dust all about the umpire's shins. The ump poses with folded arms and just stands there and grins! A matter that in some quarters is considered a lack of cultivation, Is the players' chawin' bubble gum creatin' cascades of expectoration! Spit is liberally used on the players' gloves, bats and hands. For what purpose I reckon only a seasoned player understands! The pitcher goes through strange gyrations as he settles on the mound. He scratches here and there, adjusts his cap and gazes all around, Then, communicates with the catcher with a subtle nod of his pate, After they both concur on what tricky ball to deliver o'er the plate! Before the batter steps up, he adjusts his gloves (into which he spits), Fiddles with his helmet and bat, all, I suppose to garner better hits. Maybe bubble gum and spit are necessary for the game - what do I know. One thing is for sure - those fellers sure do put on a fantastic show!