Broken Mirror Promise

morning rhythm is interrupted debris from the ceiling falls on her last used paper plate i wake up with an six month odor with no hygiene whatsoever i care not for my job, my bills, my family, or even my life no i take no drink no i take no drug no i have not a thought of suicide i just think of her in a trance of oblivious carelessness i am a hoarder via unknown circumstances....(but i know) afternoon distortion is welcomed dust from the air tickles the sensitive hairs in around my nostrils i just sit anywhere thinking of her without regard for consequences yes i blame her yes i blame myself yes i merge the two on purpose i just miss the hell out of her in that manly way that constipates the tear ducts i am the main public enemy number one of myself....(and i know) nighttime disorientation is oddly celebrated i say my prayers inadequately with a false hope masquerading as a source of faith and truth i just lay in the bed pretending the water stained ceiling has a skylight in the middle no i have no dream no i have no nightmare no i have no insomnia i just wish her was here healing me with her divine guarantees i am antagonistic fool with paintbrush splinters, a broken easel, and a deflated ego....(i never knew)