Broken

Broken...shattered...and scattered...these are the pieces to my life. A puzzle with no picture to look back on. Fragments of memories that form a story...A story that has long ended...As I lay on what is to be my bed I stare at the ceiling, and can only imagine what will come next. I try to close my eyes for a moment of peace, but my head is like a jackhammer on the streets of New York City...So much NOISE! WILL IT EVER END?! I'm sorry...I did not mean to blow up like that...Sometimes I wonder if I am the hero...or I am the villian. Do I make people smile, or do I make people frown? Although Robin Hood was both villian and hero, but Robin Hood was doing a bad thing for a right reason. Agh! Why am I cursed to be so numb! I can only feel the hatred I have for myself! Curse the people who created this monster...I have hurt so many, but I am the one who is hurt most. I apologize again...I am rambling nonsense. I just hate how everyday it is the same thing. The same people, the same school, the same job, and when you move on...It is the same. Same people new faces. The world is a boring place....If I was to "live life to the fullest" sooner or later life to the fullest will also become boring. Now that is saying I survive all that I do. In a way the world is also broken. The world is divided...Race...Gender...Politics...Religion. Always fighting for something... As I lay on my bed, and look through the window to see the blue sky, and cotton candy clouds I can't even raise a smile. I raise my hand up to reach for the sky, but I pull back. The world is never going to change...You are the one who has to change. You have to be the one to complete the puzzle. You can be the one to overcome all of the obstacles in your path. You are the one to glue the broken pieces, but once you have fallen into the dark pit of depression it's hard to get out. It is a fighting stuggle just to climb up...If you are alone...the fight is more like a war. Not only do you lose the will to fight, but also your sanity. It amazes me how I have not completely lost my mind. Although as the time progresses...I fear the worst for my humanity...I have tried fighting for so long...I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! WHO EVEN AM I ANYMORE? THE SOUND OF THE DRUMS BEATS HEAVY IN MY HEAD! I CAN NOT STAND THIS PAIN ANYMORE! I AM NOT A TOY YOU CAN FIX! I am broken...shattered....and scattered...