Broken

I of all people know it's okay to not he okay, but how many obstacles can I face before hopelessness sets in again and makes itself at home in my mind and body? I am tired. For how long must I be strong when strength alone isn't enough for this harsh world? When will I be enough? I need a miracle, a blessing. Not just me but my daughter and parents too for they have been by my side through it all, supporting me in every way they can. I would say to just skip me with the blessings and bless them please! But I am trying to be kinder to myself and believe that I am just as deserving of grace. I will admit that I am becoming increasingly tired though and there is a growing disconnect between my mind, heart and reality. I honestly don't know how much longer I can hold the fast-fracturing pieces of myself together. It has gotten harder to get out of bed, to get out of my head. My daughter is my tether to reality and she never asked to be. As a single mother, actually as a mother in general, I will do anything for her though. Anything. Especially staying alive when it seems like it would be better for everyone if I were to die. So I beg again, please universe show my daughter your kindness, she is only a baby.