Notes About The Poem

Just Breathe

Breathe

He should desire a verse of lost day past
while time enough was free to have enough,
When pace and life led more to mean but fast
as Simon said to simply breathe a puff.

To love and be less reckless with his heart,
Speak not of sin nor breach of true love’s spring,
Complete the bond not pressed akin to part
as forced to split amoebas’ kiss must sting.

He must observe his one true Master plot,
His growth less err forgone fulfills defense,
An age to find a soulmate’s breath he sought,
Their fit from Simon’s game of simple sense.

The dream of love begins with one shared breath,
The test of love whilst joined hearts beat ‘til death.
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Form:  Shakespearean (English) Sonnet

Contest: English Sonnet 3
Sponsor:  Eve Roper
Written: 06/15/2016
Results: 1st Place

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Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Kendrick Avatar
September 13, 2016 at 5:18 PM
Your English Sonnet was awesome, creative and unique..Congratulations on your placement..Sara
Day Avatar
September 13, 2016 at 11:04 PM
Thank you, Sara!
Lawless Avatar
September 12, 2016 at 8:04 AM
Oh, that final couplet - a magnificent end to the game. Beautifully written...loved the reference to the "amoebas' split".
Day Avatar
September 13, 2016 at 9:08 AM
Thanks, John
Arnone Avatar
September 10, 2016 at 9:14 PM
A lovely sonnet -- but, I couldn't define the word, amoebas. I'm assuming no relation to the single-celled animal? Congrats on your win. ;-)
Day Avatar
September 11, 2016 at 1:33 AM
Thanks for your comments - In response to you query - I compared the ending of a relationship to that of a single cell dividing.
Scars Avatar
September 10, 2016 at 6:53 PM
Jesse, congrats on your top placement :)-luloo
Day Avatar
September 11, 2016 at 1:34 AM
Thank you!
Roper Avatar
September 10, 2016 at 6:41 PM
Jesse, congratulations on your 1st place win beautiful written . Hugs Eve
Day Avatar
September 11, 2016 at 1:35 AM
Thank you!
Haight Avatar
June 25, 2016 at 8:18 AM
Jesse, I love Sonnets, and yours very beautiful and romantic, and well-written with perfect rhyme and meter! 7 Hugs, Sandra
Day Avatar
June 25, 2016 at 10:51 AM
Thank you Sandra - quite a challenge to find perfect words with the right meter to fit 10 syllables - rhythmically for 14 lines. I bet this was in Shakespeare's every passing thought. Thanks for reading and your supportive comments! Jesse
Marcum Wong Avatar
June 19, 2016 at 10:28 AM
This is incredibly beautiful Jesse. Beyond romantic...cosmic! 7 ; ) A fave!
Day Avatar
June 20, 2016 at 6:03 AM
Thank you for reading and your generous comments! Looking forward to reading some of your work. - Jesse
Andresen Avatar
June 15, 2016 at 3:56 PM
- I'm not so good with rhyming in English, but this was great - a lovely poem, Jesse :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Day Avatar
June 15, 2016 at 5:07 PM
Thank you, Anne-Lise. Happy you enjoyed it.
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