Boys and Girls

They’re one thing today and another tomorrow There must be a book about life I could borrow The pages within it, I’m hoping could teach How I’ve got four children... but that’s one of each Our Daisy and Sue play with little Bob’s toys And since when was Barbie intended for boys But Bob’s next to Sue and its such a pity That Sue’s a bit rough and Bob’s really pretty And Daisy has given us plenty of stick Because we were cruel not to christen her Mick Then one day she kicked up one hell of a stink Because the new cardi we’d bought her was pink I grinned when she borrowed some jet black mascara From her other brother... the one she calls Tara But all of my hopes proved a little bit rash When under her nose she scribbled a tash She said, ‘I know, Daddy, that it makes you whirl But I cannot settle for being a girl’ And what happened next drove me pretty well bonkers She dropped down her Y-fronts a couple of conkers And then she went on to say something quite silly ‘Dad, all I need now is a lovely big willy’ My wife who’s all female, reacted on queue Looked at me, sighed and said ‘Honey... Me too!’