Home » Poems » Valsa George » Bottomless Depth

Valsa George | + Follow Poet |

Bottomless Depth

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Valsa George.

August. 26.2023

Pick a Title- Vol.38.Poetry Contest

Sponsor- Edward Ibeh

PLACED SECOND

Swaddled in frozen silence In a weather so dolorous and damp The pores of her mind sweat painful memories Which take a headlong flight Faster than the beams of light At times shaking their fearful manes As unbridled steeds, they come Raising dust behind Making all sanity blurred. Often, they rise from their indulgent stupor And spill over, submerging all extant thoughts They never care to stand in queue Jostling each other with no manners They bump on one another, breaking all decorum Like an unruly mob on impatient wait Caught in the vortex of a whirling current Her poor body begins to lose its equilibrium And she plunges into the bottomless depth To be choked there in whirling gloom!

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Edward Ibeh

Date: 9/26/2023 4:21:00 AM

Excellent write, as always, Valsa:-) I enjoyed it tremendously. Heartiest congratulations on your win in my contest!

Speaks Volumes

Date: 9/3/2023 5:41:00 PM

Valsa through your poems it seems that you have empathy for all people, everywhere in all walks of life and all situations. That is such a valuable gift. Your depiction of what its like to be in the throws of utter desperation, is so believable. Congratulations on your awarded place. . .SV

Stephan McBride

Date: 8/27/2023 1:38:00 PM

Beautiful gift you have my dear friend to feel with empathy and love to reach out to all ,

Jay Narain

Date: 8/26/2023 11:58:00 AM

Nice depicton of depression and emotions. It takes lot of effort, care and love to get out of it.

Hiya Sharma

Date: 8/26/2023 8:33:00 AM

I could feel the depth here to my heart's core and this definitely pulled some gloomy heartstrings. Sigh, darkness truly extracts all the colours from our souls and makes us breathe in gloom.. You've described this in such a melancholic and soul stirring way! "The pores of her mind sweat painful memories which take a headlong flight, faster than the beams of light", "to be choked there in whirling gloom" So evocative, love this..

Robert Lindley

Date: 8/26/2023 8:08:00 AM

My good friend, this is a truly fine poem on depression and heartache. and that does indeed feel like a bottomless pit. But we survivors eventually learn how to recover. I did in my youth several times. A true gem this is and a new fav for me. God bless you,

Joe Dimino

Date: 8/26/2023 6:38:00 AM

Depression is a horrible state of mind...of existence, for bouts are seeming all consuming. Well said, my friend. " Caught in the vortex of a whirling current Her poor body begins to lose its equilibrium And she plunges into the bottomless depth To be choked there in whirling gloom!" Wow, poetic brilliance!

Sotto Poet

Date: 8/26/2023 6:03:00 AM

Valsa, this poem is an exquisite work of art, showcasing your immense poetic prowess. It is adorned with numerous enchanting verses and brims with stunning imagery, skillfully crafted to evoke vibrant colors, intricate textures, breathtaking landscapes, and profound emotions. BOL with the contest

Ink Empress

Date: 8/26/2023 5:43:00 AM

“To be choked there in whirling gloom” what a creative way of describing how one is suffocating in darkness, and the way you took us through the journey, from being swaddled in frozen silence to being caught in a vortex of whirling current. All so very well articulated. A deeply moving write with sumptuous diction and impeccable flow. Felt this

Sara Kendrick

Date: 8/26/2023 3:30:00 AM

Whoa! That would not be a good place to be in, in one's emotions. I wonder what brought her to that place? Thanks for sharing this one and for stopping by my page. The word you used, decorum, reminded me of my father who told the story about his father and brother. When their report cards were sent out the teacher wrote on of his brothers' report card that he had bad decorum. Daddy said his father got upset because he had no idea what decorum meant and was sure his son did something wrong.Sara