Both Sides For Me

The look of pity on the saleswoman's face said it all my paint spattered clothing, however the jeans fit just didn't have that panache, chic pizazz, tongue hanging inspiration for desire a young woman out to have. The car dealer took one look at me, led me to the far corner of the lot, showed me the used hot rods the beater four doors, the budget cutters like I'd rode but I wanted glossy black, silver hood ornament, brand new. Paint is supposed to sit on top of your nails, but underneath is advantageous when compared to oil, to muck, to dirty guts so I was a step on the ladder of the working man, I could even afford to buy hose, which I still don't wear. There's something to be said for the over glasses, safety glasses look, white paper coat, something comical one supposes, but the purple overalls worn for skiing which suddenly I could afford, made me my nephews joke. At times I waited for a date who preferred the bar called and said maybe later, because passion rumbled between us when we kissed but I didn't want a flit, disease, broken promise, I wanted to be embraced Cozy now, body motion are promises and content passion is beyond me, the bar on the patio in back the hand I always hold a missing app that answers more lonely than any mistaken wish that he'd be the one. Stars, too, I climbed to them in my dream, climbed the Space Needle and found my self with no safety net I always avoided those climbs the dreams more nightmare even though I do what I am told, to reach, to soar. Sometimes now I wear black on gold dresses which fit to the nth inch, so I can barely sit, hold champagne to watch golden bubbles float against the elegant white linen against starry night event, that's rich, success. Dump it gladly for a romp on the beach, the missing something like threads through a woven maze, like an angel's hope. When I dump it all and seek there's grace lying on the shores between the rocks a pooled place where deer come to lick minerals, boulders come unglued and sail down river and think, maybe I could do that. Maybe I could unglue all the expectations and rearrange the world.