Blind Date

Well, we met on this site Quite late Friday night She was gorgeous from what I could see Her photo looked fine So I sent her mine It was clear that she quite fancied me Then her profile I read, and Here’s what it said “I am slim, I am leggy and fair” I was sorely impressed So I thought it was best I invited her out then and there Now, the place for the meet Was a pub on our street Next evening about seven thirty I had a hot shower And smelled like a flower Don’t want her to think that I’m dirty It was nearing the time I’d washed off the grime I dressed and I’d made me some grub But my heart skipped a beat And I just couldn’t eat So I takes myself of to the pub Well I had one or two You know, as you do To build up my nerve for the date With one eye on the door And then just a few more I was praying she wouldn’t be late I was checking the clock When I got quite a shock She was there right in front of my eyes Well I tried not to stare At her head with no hair At her chest or her gigantic thighs Then she said “Hello mate, I am here for that date I’m Doris and you must Fred ?” Well, I looks in her eyes, and I quickly replies “I’m his twin, my poor brother is dead” Well, I leapt from my seat I was up on my feet I’d got outside As quick as a wink After such a big shock I ran round the block And had me another stiff drink