Black Clouds

I'm being followed by a black cloud The rain pours, the storm starts I'm trying to share the fixed pieces of a torn heart I'm just trying to escape these black clouds Welcome to the mind of a bipolar psycho with a damaged heart Depression beats me every day and leaves me scarred Self-harm got jealous because i married my pen and there's no Signs of a divorce Me and the pen have a threesome with paper and I Rhyme all my thoughts I'm Done with trying to fix my Broken heart pieces I'm about to burn the bridge and I don't care who's standing underneath it I hate the world I've became Numb to pain I no longer know the difference between Sun and rain I can't differentiate between Love and hate, sex and emotions Because i'm still in love the girl who left me broken I just contradicted myself right there Thanks to being bipolar, trying to get a normal thought is a nightmare I'm Numb to feelings so tears won't fall Usually when I care i act like i Don't care at all Paid for my mistakes, anxiety tells me it should have been a bigger fee I'm So drunk, the bartender is telling me to drink something liquor free I'm mumbling my words, but got the number of a girl I had my eyes on Instead of being happy i'm sat thinking about how I'm living my life wrong I don't want random hook ups, I want love that's real But how can I get that when I can't remember how to feel? I feel more alone than ever, Suicidal thoughts are crawling back Friends dial my phone, but I'm not calling back I thought I was moving forward but I'm falling back I need a hug and nothing more, that's all I ask I'm being followed by a black cloud The rain pours, the storm starts I'm trying to share the fixed pieces of a torn heart I'm just trying to escape these black clouds