Notes About The Poem

Renga was a popular poetry format in Old Japan, and was actually the precursor to haiku. A renga poem is composed by two or more poets, each taking turns adding two or three-line verses to the poem. The three line verses have a MAX syllable count of 17, while the two line verses have a MAX syllable count of 14. The poem stretches however long you wish: from a dozen verses to several hundred. The idea is to create the element of change, by every two verses adjacent verses being connected in some fashion, while NOT being connected to the verse written before THAT.

 

This is called "linking and shifting". 

 

Traditional renga poetry can be very complicated, having many, many different rules that poets must follow. As time progressed though, and renga became more popular among commoners instead of the more educated, people developed rules that were easier to follow.

 

One of the more common rules among renga poetry is to write a continuing poem that goes through all the seasons, as the poem progressed. Going from winter, spring, summer, fall, and so forth (starting in whichever season you like).

 

When writing a renga poem, you don't want to stay in one season too long, but you also don't want to change too quickly. My general rule is too not stay in the same season for more than three verses, so for example if the first verse is a Winter poem, you should be in Spring, at least by 4th verse.

 

You can have as few as TWO poets taking turns adding verses, but you can also have over a dozen if you like. Back in the Old Days, people would write them in huge groups, which meant that sometime it took several hours for it to be your turn again! I've only done it with one other person so far, which keeps it more simple, and you can do it in person like say a coffee shop, or also through email.

 

To change things up, poets can decide before hand to have a "Switch" incorporated, where poets trade places writing the two-line and three-line verses. The most simple way to do this is in the middle of a poem have one of the poets write TWO verses in a row, switching the order around.

 

So far I've written only two renga poems, the first being 12 verses called January Jest, and the second being 18 verses called Birds in Tuxedos. I'm sharing the second one with you because I believe it's more well put together ...

 

In addition to the Seasonal Rule, we made up our own rule called "The Animal/Insect Rule". This means that for every 4 consecutive verses there must at least ONE animal / insect reference, but no more than TWO. This is a lose rule, but makes for a bit more of a challenge. The beginning verse and ending verses must ALSO have a connectiong to one another ...

 

Here is the poem ... I hope you all can give it a try one day! :D

 

The verses in italic are written by my friend Jesse Whitehead,

and the verses in normal font are written by me.

 

You can also check out this link for further information ... http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Haikai-(Collaborative-Poetry-Game)

 

Can you name the connections between two adjacent verses?

Birds In Tuxedos - a Collaboration

Verses in italics by Jesse Whitehead
Verses in normal font by Timothy Hicks



birds in tuxedos
marching through snow
stifled laughter
 
a pair of short legs
behind the coats
 
patient as molasses
a surprise in waiting
tiny curled toes
 
it slipped through the claws
of a brown pelican
 
sharp as eggshells
words on deaf ears
nary a shrug
 
the stillness of earth
before receiving the rain
 
howling wolf
warm tears in the sky
silent moon
 
atop the pine-wood mantel
the treasured baseball
 
smoldering campfire
toasted marshmallows
precious longing
 
she pulls a Jurassic Park
turning on the gramophone
 
September sun
the wheels on the bus
through leaves and leaves
 
last stop
says the cattle driver
 
despite the breadth of these plains
my heart doesn't stray
chilly breath
 
beating drums
penny tossed to the curve
 
change of scenery
branches replacing winter
with wisteria
 
ladybugs gliding
through purple haze
 
hitting
the teacher's back instead
paper airplane
 
vapor trails
across the pale fields
 
did you see that one?
catching only the coattails
of a summer star
 
but alas
penguins cannot fly
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Lamoureux Avatar
June 11, 2016 at 8:36 AM
It definately has the haiku feel to it. For me haiku is my most difficult form to write so I am in awe of your talent in penning such a piece.
Hicks Avatar
June 20, 2016 at 11:53 AM
Thanks a million, Richard. I love haiku, so this was great for me :)
Breidenthal Avatar
June 9, 2016 at 6:44 AM
Another intriguing collab. Amazing job to the both of you. You sure are an explorer in the depths of poetry, Timothy. This form sounds quite challenging, and its really cool to read about the history behind it! I love the third stanza of Jesse's...sure is a vivid picture..and your 13th stanza was utterly awesome. Always, Laura
Hicks Avatar
June 20, 2016 at 11:40 AM
Thanks for giving me such an insightful comment ... it is always greatly appreciated! :)
Dietrich Avatar
June 6, 2016 at 11:17 PM
Timothy, from finally studying what you said here about this form, I can better understand what is going on. I think you two did super well together, but I don't think this form is for me. I prefer separate haiku . However, this was kind of like reading a lot of nice haiku and some of them were AWESOME with imagination and imagery. Keep up with your interesting excursions into poetry, and thanks for listening to my recording. It's not my best one. I have a third recording coming soon: Limerick!
Hicks Avatar
June 20, 2016 at 11:12 AM
Thanks Andrea for getting to understand this form more. It is rather unusual, admittedly, but a super fun mental exercise ... they were a blast to write :)
Godwin Avatar
June 5, 2016 at 10:11 PM
OK, quick as a bunny, the fonts are now distinguished. Magic behind the scenes ... CayCay
Hicks Avatar
June 11, 2016 at 1:34 AM
Lol. I changed it as quick as I realized it ... Just one small little fix.
Godwin Avatar
June 5, 2016 at 10:10 PM
I am very impressed with this write. A rewarding effort, eh? I cannot distinguish between italics and the normal font. Is it just me? Nevertheless, I enjoyed the read, the style and the time I spent here. CayCay
Hicks Avatar
June 11, 2016 at 1:33 AM
Glad you enjoyed the style, my friend. It is an unusual format, but very fun to write in.
Fiery Avatar
June 5, 2016 at 10:09 PM
I love the idea of penguins..*.birds in Tuxedos...*... and yes the font is changed now !!!! hahah...am i still having some problems with my eyes or u just changed it...Lol
Hicks Avatar
June 11, 2016 at 1:19 AM
Thanks for pointing that out. Its a running joke from my friend, so I was curious if anyone would catch on.
Fiery Avatar
June 5, 2016 at 10:06 PM
I don't see any normal font( Plz correct me if i am wrong) i am still trying to figure out if i have some issues with my eyes..*LOL* I had no idea about this form of poetry but I am happy to learn about this new form. This is one of the best collaborations on Poetry soup ! A7 for both of you and ofcourse A fav straightaway ~Cheers ~Red
Hicks Avatar
June 11, 2016 at 1:18 AM
I am humbled, Red. Thank you very much! :)
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