Bins

Mr Bell, it’s Julie from the council, you appear to be inundating our help desk with phone calls, are you alright? No, Julie, I am not alright. I have seven bins in my garden, and for some reason, you’ve delivered another three, what’s going on? Can you describe the bins that have been delivered? One is luminous and at night time, it lights up the whole street. Right, that bin is your new Nuclear fallout receptacle. Okay, Julie, I think you’ve delivered that to the wrong address, the power plant is five miles up the road, but I’m sure even they don’t use plastic bins. No, this is your bin. Now I don’t want to alarm you, but when it gets emptied, the men will be wearing like silver spacesuits, so don’t get alarmed when they come into your garden. This might sound like a silly question, Julie, but where do I get this fallout stuff to put in the bin? Oh, I see what you mean. Let me explain. This is actually a smart bin which collects particles through the air, you don’t touch it. What other bin do you have? I’ve also been given a bright pink bin. Ok, now this bin is for the LGBTQ community. Fantastic, one I don’t need. Oh, we don’t discriminate, Mr Bell, everyone gets one. Right, Julie, what goes in it? I would have thought that was obvious. Well, Julie, if it's that obvious, enlighten me. Could you not ask one of your Gay neighbours? As far I know, I don’t have any gay neighbours, though in saying that, we do have mad Madge, who runs about naked at weird times of the night. What’s the other bin you have. This is a weird one, Julie, it’s black with four brass handles on it. Right, this is actually your end of life bin. Now, it’s imperative you give us fourteen days' notice before you use it. Okay, Julie, let's have a think about this one. People who die don’t tend to go in fourteen days, they tend to just drop dead. Will you be dropping dead anytime soon, Mr Bell? If you keep sending me stupid bins, Julie, I’ll be joining mad Madge. Talking about, Madge, Mr Bell. We sent a young lad with a letter of intent for her, he hasn’t returned, should we be worried. Got a feeling, Julie, your first end of life bin will be imminent.