Billy Jimsonweed and the Magic Icicle

It never melted for starters but then you have to start somewhere the Magic Icicle could talk it had humors jealousies aversions deep rending tides of love and week long fits of giggling It had been crafted by Father Frost The Emperor of the North his breath could wreck a train and send a picnic scattering Billy never met the Frost King who he heard was a ballroom dancer fast on his feet tipita tapita could do the Rhinoceros Shuffle like liquid silk on yearning thighs the dance finals were approaching it was Billy's job to suss the opposition his reports gave the Emperor a step up on the competition or in the right direction your call the competition was stiff as beaten egg whites there were the castratI pair Harley and Davidson who were fast and supple and could ignite a rattling fart 10 feet from the judges' candle and rocket blurringly past them like the jaguar under a jungle moon there was Nip and Tuck Edwardians from the pages of Lord Knackwit they could anticipate every dip and swirl and often stood quite still from the necessities of their logic then there were the Rubber Twins Bobby Rubber and Loquatia Rubber gliding ever gliding and then rebounding in a ricochet ballet of Newtonian elasticity with a certainty that will pirouette right over your thin skinned inadequacies a sort of cognitive ***** enlargement which by the way had become epidemic among the malapropist radicals undying in their devotion to big **** and ropes and pulleys plucking the exhausted and blistered contestants from the dance floor in the nick of nack somehow managing to advance the malapropist elephant in a china shop agenda in the face of poetic condensation apparently cognitive and ***** were doomed from the dawn of time to run together like a pack of wolves in rut while crickets rubbed their lanterns bright and the night grew big as the Frog of Creation hopping and hipping you along on the dance floor of partial eternity so loosen up and listen up it's just that we really must compare categories more often actually hold them side by side because death is a little icon in the corner of my screen no way I'm going to click on it it's going to have to click on me and here we are at another frozen end please accept your melting icicle statue the Emperor's Sno Cone of Attention Award From "Engine of Didactic Beauty" available on Amazon http://tinyurl.com/nhfk6dr