Bigfoot In the Bathroom

BigFoot's in the bathroom, I'm not goin' in there again, That you must know... Riveted to this spot in fear, Believe me, I do not pretend... I'll piss out the window, Not unheard of with us trailer-trash, If this, I find I must, And if he comes out of the bathroom.... He'll see me make dust..... The only thing, I'm assured are quite safe, Are my sad pair of shoes, I'd aquired as a waif.... They would never fit him, And they surely lack in style, Thank God for that! They're safe for awhile.... Nor could he use, Other than that, My silly old hat... But how do I get, This big creature to leave?, To get out of my bathroom, How do I deceive?.... Let me think real hard... Any tricks up my sleeve?... And how he got in the bathroom... I'll always long wonder, More mysterious to me, Than lightning and thunder... I pray he's gone, Before a shower I need, Hopefully he'll get hungry, And decide to go feed.... Oh, my Lord, I just thought, What if he now sought.. And espies my kitchen Knowing he'll never be caught... If he invades the kitchen somehow, To raid the refrigerator, And finds, I know not how... My precious beer supply... He'll never leave now.... If I was smart, I'da thought, Of calling a cop, But I'm quite sure, Bigfoot he'd never stop... So I went to bed, Weary, and left on the light.... Hoping now, with the Midnight Ape, I didn't wind up in a fight... Awoke the next day, The coast seemed well clear, But the pungent stench, Of Bigfoot, In the bathroom, always was near... I've tried every product, That I could find.... Hoping for the stench to clear... But each failed miserably, So now I'm stuck here... Waiting for the next ape break in, Till then I'll just sip quietly on my beer.