Big Eagle

THE KELP SEAWORTHY REPORT\ \ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN SOMETIMES WHEN THINGS AREN'T GOING YOUR WAY YOU TAKE TIME OUT TO REASSERT YOUR POSITION AND LOOK INTO WHAT YOUR DOING WRONG DID " bIG eAGLE" AND HIS MANAGER fRAMPS gULGRIP DO THAT? IF THEY DID, THEY USED A VERY IMPRESSIVE PLAN, TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT THEY SET OUT TO DO. HE HAD THE OPPURTUNITY , AND SEIZED THE MOMENT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IN tHE STATE OF MAINE WE CROWNED A NEW hEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE wORLD tHE "BIG EAGLE". hE DEFEATED THE bigsky IN MATCH THAT WILL CEMENT bIG EAGLE AS ONE OF THE GREATEST CONTENDERS AND WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME. TELL THOSE IN ADVERTISING TO GET THE STENCILS READY WE GOT SOME NEW SHIRTS TO PRINT. fELLAS DID YOU SEE WHAT sMILES MAGAZINE SAID ABOUT mISS pRISSY AND tHE pRISSY ALL STARS WELL WE CAN'T SHOW YOU THE PHOTOS, BUT WHAT THEY PRINTED CAUSED SOME CONTROVERSY AMONG THE RANKS OF THE wRESTLING WORLD. iT BOUGHT OUT A CERTAIN GENTLEMAN WHO HAD BEEN RETIRED FOR MORE THAN 5 YEARS. HE'S BACK, DUE TO SOME UNKIND WORDS FROM A CERTAIN mISSY pRISSY. AND IN mAINE HE DEFEATED A VERY PROMISING NEW COMER FORMER rUSSIAN WRESTLING STAR VLAUT" VISE GRIP" kROSIV. WHO IS THE NUMBER FOUR CONTENDER TO THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, AND IS SCHEDULED TO TEAM WITH THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION tHE BIG sKY IN OF ALL PLACES, THE PLACE HE STARTED HIS CAREER, IN THE d.c. AREA. hE SAID IF HE MAKES IT TO d.c. WITHOUT RECOVERING THE wORLD tITLE, HE'LL JUST BECOME A TAG CHAMPION ENROUTE TO RECOVING WHATS RIGHTFULLY HIS LADIES AND GENTKLEMEN LET'S WELCOMe THE big sky! AND vISE GRIP KROSIV. bigsky....tell him to shout up! tell him to listen to what a real man has to say. aint no shame in the the big sky. When he held on to the ropes, I couldn't move, and he pinned me. Thats a fact, I got something to do with what happens next, and me taking care of me means, somebody better be watching your back, cause I'm the only one round here that gives a damn about wrestling. And you got something that made getting women and celebrating real fun. The Worlds HeavyWeight championship. See we gonna hook up, and tangle like we aint got knowthing better to do. We gonna get down and gritty.(smiling) real nitty gritty, and I'm gonna show the World why they called me kiss that simpletons wife when he couldn't understand what the next day meant. when the bigsky is over you, all you can do is watch! Vise Grip... Mr microphonio, say Champion, you say Krosiv!