Lin Lane | + Follow Poet |
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Beneath Darkened Skies

Written with sorrowful memories of the war taking
place inside the one I loved ~ through his perspective


I spent time with a friend in a low place
but that friendly face become a blur 
when the frown of Jesus stared back at me
from the bottom of an empty bottle 
With head in tremblilng hands, I groaned
realizing my life was upside down 
and that 'friend,' my wife, had left me all alone 

Remembering that phone conversation
when I said, "You left me. I can't hold you any more." 
I cringed when she replied,"You left me each time
you raised a bottle to your lips."
I couldn't argue with her. She was right.

I take the blame for this weakness I despise
Hate knowing I put the tears in her eyes.
It's not easy to always be misunderstood
but no one knows the dept of my darkness
So don't preach to me about what I've done wrong    
I know the words. I used to sing that song.

I've weathered times when I was cold as ice
Been rained upon beneath darkened skies
Shivered while trying to find my way home
and swore I'd change the way I live my life
Then I surrendered to the thirst, in sacrifice

Drowning in an ocean, lost in waves of doubt
only fortifified in depths beyond the shallows 
where I fill a bottle with hundred proof brine 
It's the elixir I call 'My besotted self-defense'
I'm fighting a war within riddled thoughts
and it's already cost me the love in her heart
I'm hoping one day I'll find peace of mind
and lay down the shield of my armament
The weapon in a bottle that I can't live without

Copyright © Lin Lane | Year Posted 2020

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Richard Lamoureux Date: 1/17/2020 8:43:00 AM I wrote a piece called Never Never Land which also deals with addiction. Your piece is sensitively portrayed. Hugs Rick. Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/22/2020 6:17:00 AM Thanks a lot, Rick.

Robert Lindley Date: 1/16/2020 7:33:00 PM Brilliant poetry my friend. I have a younger brother that is an alcoholic. His health is very bad now. Such a terrible addiction/disease. And yes it so oft ruins other family member's lives as well as the alcoholic's.You were fortunate to escape as you did... God bless.. Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/22/2020 6:16:00 AM It ruins so many things. Thank you, Robert.

Charles Messina Date: 1/15/2020 8:29:00 PM I have never fell victim to the bottle, but I have fell victim to other things in my past. It's a terrible message that floats amongst the sea. No one can open that bottle unless the person inside it can find the way out themselves. My prayers are with you, Lin. Hugs always...Charlie Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/22/2020 6:16:00 AM Oh, Charlie, I hope you didn't think I was writing about myself. Thanks for your comments.

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri Date: 1/15/2020 8:55:00 AM Aw you expressed so creatively on his behalf against his nemesis the demons drink as it is called. I have seen many a love life ruined by drink so your great metaphoric poem is a masterpiece. Kudos!!! I really admire your poem lots and faved it. Pls pleez do review/ comment my newest poem too. Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/22/2020 6:15:00 AM Thank you.

M. L. Kiser Date: 1/15/2020 5:35:00 AM Sad, powerfully moving; it's difficult. An honest write. Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/22/2020 6:15:00 AM Thank you, M.L.

Connie Marcum Wong Date: 1/15/2020 12:15:00 AM Both of my brothers suffer from alcoholism Lin. There are many reasons why a person self medicate’s with drink to cope with life. Only they can save themselves. I can relate to your wise words. xxoo Login to Reply Panagiota Romios Date: 2/13/2020 4:15:00 PM Families can help by going to Ala-Non. Most lay the blame on the alcoholic and feel helpless. You can't change a persons drinking. In Ala-Non you learn and grow. PR cx Lin Lane Date: 1/22/2020 6:15:00 AM I'm sorry you have first-hand knowledge, Connie.

Tania Kitchin Date: 1/14/2020 4:18:00 PM A powerfully written sad poem Lin. Alcoholism is a horrible disease, unless someone wants to get the help they need, the bottle becomes their total focus and are consumed by their fix. Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/14/2020 5:07:00 PM That's so very true, Tania. They can't be saved by anyone other then themselves. He was pulling me under with him in a depression that dragged me down, and I knew I couldn't let that happen. I am so glad to see your kind comments. Thanks so much for leaving me your thoughts.

Chris Green Date: 1/14/2020 12:22:00 PM There is no bottle deep enough to erase the memory of this pain caused by one staggering in and out of life, taking down the one who cared, who stood up for them, who cried for them and who grieved for them along the way. Such a sorrowed poem that really touches my heart and soul. Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/14/2020 12:46:00 PM He's still drowning, Chris, and though I begged him to get help he would not. He's wasted so many years of the talent he has, and even worse, ruined his relationship with God and family. I appreciate your comments.

Tom Cunningham Date: 1/14/2020 12:12:00 PM A powerful narrative Lin, I hope by sharing those painful memories it will help to bring closure to that dark episode in your life. Tom Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/14/2020 12:44:00 PM It's been 8 years, Tom, and they still trickle into my thoughts. One little suture breaks free now and again to reopen the wound. A dream of him last night prompted these lines. Many thanks for your kind thoughts.

Caren Krutsinger Date: 1/14/2020 12:11:00 PM "but you don't know the dept of my darkness So don't preach to me about what I've done wrong " - this is exceedingly wise. Login to Reply Lin Lane Date: 1/14/2020 12:39:00 PM I never preached to him, Caren. You can't reason with someone who's inebriated, but from his perspective my offers to help must've felt like I was preaching. I knew the depths of his darkness, but in a drunken state he didn't always realize what he was saying. Thanks for reading and leaving your comments.