Being In the Moments

My mother believed in prayers, more than my father did My father believed in tackling his problem with a flask of White rum, I believed in the moment of things: They are hidden compartments inside of us, my poetic friends “Being in the moment” can be a helpful reminder if we understand it in a more expansive way Perhaps it was true, when someone said to deal with some situation at moment times I refused to grieve for my dearly departed husband, Past experience, wouldn’t allowed me to weep at his grave My lack of dispassion and willful stubbornness. Did I really love him, did I really forgive him? Maybe it was the disrespectfulness, I couldn’t forgive, The truth is quite different. Forgiving an offense empowers the offended. It is to a man’s glory to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11) I can’t change, the past, but I can learn from it, it might prevent me From walking through a fire, such as that, I would look at his picture on my refrigerator, and I love him and I hate him In that same moment, we are surely bedmates My distance craving, my longing to be held tightly throughout the night. If a person can fulfill needs for companionship, love, sex or mating, there is a greater chance that the other person will fall in love with him or her over, and over again Somehow not me, you burn, you affect me deeply, I have done all of this, and came out the loser, all the time Love is not for me. loneliness is my captive I know, I know, I know, loneliness need not to have the final words Even when the world is against me, I will shine through, like old ancient Bims I lost the love of my life due to jealousy, He lost me because I love him enough to let him go, I had a breakthrough, I had given up on loving, a mortal again I rather be alone, than living with them and be lonely, I was never programed to fail, or stand for foolishness Yes, call me stubborn, called me high and mighty, Call me the new modern girl, I will not age like a failure But with greatness, with relentless pursuit for my happiness, I deserved this. I know I do, the poet within, know I do As my online paparazzi stalk me. They need to go ahead And do their own thing... lol