Long ago on some days, yet not so long on others,
I do so recall those days when I was yet a mother.
Days of being careless and having fun,
Not having to be responsible for anyone.
Then one day, a mother is what I became,
Where nothing again was ever quite the same.
The day of birth, we had our official introductions,
Yet, none of you came with a list of instructions!
With each new additional child
Came more issues to be reconciled.
There was no easy and set rules
Nor was I given the necessary tools.
I was not as prepared as I thought,
And most days, I admit, I was overwrought.
That did not mean I did not love you five,
For you each made me feel more alive.
I admit, as a mom, I may have messed up,
Yet, I always was able to find a fix-up.
With you all, I was profound and spellbound,
For no greater love could ever be found.
Now that you all are mostly grown,
And my nest you have certainly flown.
Ever reminded that I am no longer needed,
Also, it seems, at every turn, I am impeded.
Though, for some, find my advice and affection offending,
My heart burst with love for you all that is never-ending.
I knew you all would grow up and move out someday,
Yet the feelings are so much more than just dismay.
I am alone, awaiting messages or calls,
Yet, nothing is heard inside these four walls.
When my husband leaves for work each day,
I am usually left with nothing but disarray.
Please always know I love and miss you all,
I also miss all the chaos and even the brawls,
That comes with having children around
Yet, silence is all that can now be found.
Just as I was not prepared on the day you were born,
No one told me I would be left feeling so forlorn.
Reminded daily that I no longer matter
My feelings and heart all about in shatter.
One day, easier these feelings will become,
Until then, this despair I try not to succumb.
Always know that no matter your qualm,
I always have been and will be your mom.
Copyright © Kristy De La Keur Scoville | Year Posted 2018