Behind the Lies

you think im happy, Doing the right thing, never have a doubt. Well my smile hides everything that i dont tell you. You dont know how sad i am and what goes on in my head. Ever looked into my eyes? Can you see the sadness;the pain of the past and the scares. Did you know i cry myself to sleep almost everything night, i think about death and I sit and grave yards. I do drugs and try to forget. I still sleep in your cloths and think of you to sleep and I cry. Im really a rack but I hide it. i break down but i pull myself together fast and move on. I think about killing myself because I cant take life most of the time. i stand in the rain cuz i can cry without anyone knowing. I space out alot into my own world of dark and death. As I write i wonder if life will get better.. i hide things from everyone and im good at it. I get up and put a happy face even though Im dying inside. I made the promise not to hurt myself but its getting so hard to keep it. It gives me strenth and freedom to know i can fight even if i want to give up. I hide things behind my eyes and your are seeing lies. you dont know the pain i feel, the tears I cryed and the scares I have. Family isnt right and I seem to be alone. They dont understand and i cant explain it to them because ill get judged. I dont want to feel like a out cast in my own home. Why kick the girl that already down?? make fun of the one that trys to hide herself. talk behind her back and kill her more. Even if shes already dying you just keep her down.....