Behind the Bars Blues

To my right is Tommy Two-Face He murdered his wife He is pleading insanity I bet he gets life To my left is Little Lenny He weighs three hundred and four They found him with lots of cocaine I think that he had more Over there is Billy Kid The Dyslexic, I think Robbing people at an ATM Landed him in the clink And there sits Mumbling Mo Disorderly and drunk Making snow angels in the highway Wearing only his swim trunks With these criminals I sit For my dastardly deed I was walking my dog Without a dog lead I know there’s an ordinance Saying you must have a leash But my dog is well trained And by my side won’t release The officer was a rookie Making his first arrest And slapped on the handcuffs When his manner I did protest As he tried to take my dog I pushed him aside Saying, “Just write me a ticket” “Officer down!!!”, he started to cry And now I’m in the slammer With this violent crew For not having my dog tethered Singing the behind the bars blues Based on a true story that happened to me many years ago. I felt like Arlo Guthrie in “Alice’s Restaurant.”