Behind the Bars Blues
To my right is Tommy Two-Face
He murdered his wife
He is pleading insanity
I bet he gets life
To my left is Little Lenny
He weighs three hundred and four
They found him with lots of cocaine
I think that he had more
Over there is Billy Kid The
Dyslexic, I think
Robbing people at an ATM
Landed him in the clink
And there sits Mumbling Mo
Disorderly and drunk
Making snow angels in the highway
Wearing only his swim trunks
With these criminals I sit
For my dastardly deed
I was walking my dog
Without a dog lead
I know there’s an ordinance
Saying you must have a leash
But my dog is well trained
And by my side won’t release
The officer was a rookie
Making his first arrest
And slapped on the handcuffs
When his manner I did protest
As he tried to take my dog
I pushed him aside
Saying, “Just write me a ticket”
“Officer down!!!”, he started to cry
And now I’m in the slammer
With this violent crew
For not having my dog tethered
Singing the behind the bars blues
Based on a true story that happened to me many years ago. I felt like Arlo Guthrie in “Alice’s Restaurant.”
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