Behind My Painted Smile

You want a million followers, I'm thankful to have a few numbers I can always dial In 2018 I saw my life fall apart, I'm using those pieces to build on I'm thankful I overcome my Suicidal thoughts and they weren't something I got killed from I'm writing this to let you see behind my painted smile I'm just trying to get to the root of my black thoughts Of course I'm going to be dented when I've been loose on a crash course In a world of lies I always give the truth that they ask for My heart is aching and my head is sore But who am I to complain when there's kids who have bled in war? When it comes to love and relationships I think everyone fails It was only in the last few years I learned the difference between being horny and being in love, but I think that's a fault of every young male 2 yeas too late but Stacey I messed up when I broke up with you, I know you've got a new man now When you try to keep your head above water you will always see a few plans drown But by letting you go I ended holding myself hostage I hope you're happy because you deserve it, now I need to change the topic Meg I'm unsure why we're not speaking but you're the girl I always wanted to be together with I hope we start speaking again soon, as Life is too short but we can't measure it In 2018 I saw my life Sinking but now I have a better ship Now I feel like I'm Messi in front of goal, I'll never miss I don't care about what youtubers are arguing or what celebrities are beefing I'm focused on my lost friendships and trying to connect the dots to get us speaking I understand it's great to be on the same page as people But I've learned that it's better when both sides are willing to do the reading I'm not into following trends Some people get left behind I know that Sometimes you have to continue your journey and not go back But if we're in this we're in this together, I'm not into following friends The past is done, I'm an open book and I'm holding no grudges I'm forgiving myself for mistakes I made and don't care for any judgement I needed to write this so you could see behind my painted smile But 2019 is my fresh start and I haven't felt this happy or strong in a while