Before It's Too Late

Let me say all of this before it's too late I know I said i wouldn't write about you on another page But I have more to say, so I won't hold it in I tell the truth about my mistakes, so no one can expose my sins I'm letting my pride go, And writing my Brain full of rhymes Girls come and go, but you remain on my mind I think back to when we first started speaking Damn I miss those days I'd give anything to go back If I could I'd give you was ring, marry you fast Just thinking about it, and my heart is bleeding I couldn't cope with depression and a relationship at the same time So I pushed you away, hid you from my mind Sleeping with girl after girl who I couldn't have cared less about I acted like it did, but even great sex didn't get the stress out When I was with all of these girls, I was missing you These girls were naked in front of me,but I was fantasizing about kissing you I'll always hate depression because it made me push you away When I got better you didn't want to know me Here I am, admitting things I wasn't in a rush to say Struggled with how to be a man, because my dad didn't show me Haven't seen my dad in 10 years because he isn't breathing It hurts more, that when he was alive, he wasn't there when I was a baby screaming Spending his money on alcohol, so 2 year old me had to go without eating I apologize, but this has still got me bleeding He passed when I was 15 and there's been nothing for me to miss I hope my Chantal understands why I wasn't rushing for a kiss Family not being there and growing in foster care made me unable to express love I couldn't give her the world, I'm still looking for a gift Scarred because no one gave me a cushion for the hits If we ever speak again, I'm going to do my best to prove I'm serious But whatever you're going through right now, I hope you enjoy the experience I'm writing this like its just you and me I'm growing everyday and being better than I used to be A good man with a damaged heart and bad traits I just hope you don't speak of me in a bad way Because I genuinely loved you even if I couldn't show it I'm writing this about you, but you won't know it Because you're no longer in my life But I'm becoming stronger from the write Dear Chantal I said I wouldn't write about you on another page But I wanted to write this before it's too late