Before It's Too Late
Let me say all of this before it's too late
I know I said i wouldn't write about you on another page
But I have more to say, so I won't hold it in
I tell the truth about my mistakes, so no one can expose my sins
I'm letting my pride go, And writing my Brain full of rhymes
Girls come and go, but you remain on my mind
I think back to when we first started speaking
Damn I miss those days I'd give anything to go back
If I could I'd give you was ring, marry you fast
Just thinking about it, and my heart is bleeding
I couldn't cope with depression and a relationship at the same time
So I pushed you away, hid you from my mind
Sleeping with girl after girl who I couldn't have cared less about
I acted like it did, but even great sex didn't get the stress out
When I was with all of these girls, I was missing you
These girls were naked in front of me,but I was fantasizing about kissing you
I'll always hate depression because it made me push you away
When I got better you didn't want to know me
Here I am, admitting things I wasn't in a rush to say
Struggled with how to be a man, because my dad didn't show me
Haven't seen my dad in 10 years because he isn't breathing
It hurts more, that when he was alive, he wasn't there when I was a baby screaming
Spending his money on alcohol, so 2 year old me had to go without eating
I apologize, but this has still got me bleeding
He passed when I was 15 and there's been nothing for me to miss
I hope my Chantal understands why I wasn't rushing for a kiss
Family not being there and growing in foster care made me unable to express love
I couldn't give her the world, I'm still looking for a gift
Scarred because no one gave me a cushion for the hits
If we ever speak again, I'm going to do my best to prove I'm serious
But whatever you're going through right now, I hope you enjoy the experience
I'm writing this like its just you and me
I'm growing everyday and being better than I used to be
A good man with a damaged heart and bad traits
I just hope you don't speak of me in a bad way
Because I genuinely loved you even if I couldn't show it
I'm writing this about you, but you won't know it
Because you're no longer in my life
But I'm becoming stronger from the write
Dear Chantal I said I wouldn't write about you on another page
But I wanted to write this before it's too late
Copyright © Alex Duffy | Year Posted 2017
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