Bedding Down With Bigfoot

Hey, I've got me a plan to survive World War Three And it doesn't involve living deep in the sea With a mermaid named Maddy from that '80s movie Or a grey-skinned E.T. hoping to crossbreed with me. There's a bunch of big blokes known as Bigfoot to some And they live in the woods where most humans won't come Though they've entered our culture as the years have gone by They are still seen as legends and old myths, that's no lie. See, in spite of their fur and their size they're quite smart For their fondest desire is to live well apart From us primates who ravage the Earth without pause Like the virus that spreads through its host - just because. Called by Yeti and Sasquatch and still other things They refer to themselves as "Jemah" and are beings Who, unlike the poor bipeds that include me and you, Can converse without speech, like our pets often do. Though the tallest are known to have grown to nine feet And they stink like old garbage, not to mention dead meat I shall fashion my life on this heavenly lathe; I'll make Sweet Thing my wife, and I won't have to bathe.