Becoming Me

I must have woken up on the wrong side of the ground this morning... As soon as i opened my eyes, they were brought back down, with yearning- For a life remotely near what I, as a child, had dreamed for me. Mistakenly greedy, Or intentionally cheating, The consequences of reality Always come on like a beating. Unwanted and needy, A little broken and bleeding, Its myself in a coffin- not even thirty- That ive been seeing. I dont mind the bleeding, and ive always been a bit broken, But let's rid me of the beatings- For my soul is quite swollen. Being Too heavy to fly free, Its spiritually unhealthy for me. If i can just meet this goal- Balance mind, body, and soul, Then maybe I could transcend beyond the Sun; Another dimension- or even "Heaven"- you call it what you want. This lack of stability in my head Maybe damage from my childhood, Or this adult life I've lead. Either way its a hindrance in life- A mental void that obstructs the necessary path. When i was younger I held a bigger man Inside. I find he's still alive and I'll make the steps to bring him back intact.