Jan Allison Poet Limerick

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Bearded Lady -A Humourous Poem As Requested By Ilene Bauer

BEARDED LADY

Sue woke and looked terribly weird 
She’d sprouted a black bushy beard 
To get rid of this look
Should she wax or just pluck
Would the re-growth be worse than feared?

Sue tweeted her best friend called Mary
(Sue knew that HER nipples were hairy)
She said try using Veet 
It is very discrete …
and the re growth isn’t too scary!

The poem I posted yesterday was deep and sad ... Ilene Bauer commented she was more used to my humourous poems ... so I came up with this little ditty for her

12~29~16

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Andrea Dietrich January 1, 2017 at 5:26 PM haha, Thanks to Ilene, we now have this one to read. AWesome, Jan! Jan Allison January 1, 2017 at 5:31 PM I posted a sad poem and Ilene commented she was more used to my funny poems ... now how could I resist that challenge lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Maurice Rigoler January 1, 2017 at 2:12 PM I'll never understand why the good Lord put hair on a man's face. I never had the desire to grow one. For one thing, they are messy, and I've seen men with more food particles in their beards than on a tray of a fast-food eatery! Yuk! Enjoy your limerick. You're getting to be quite proficient with this genre. / M Jan Allison January 1, 2017 at 2:16 PM Thanks for all your support over the last year Maurice I enjoy the humour in the limerick form:-) Eww food trapped in a beard - guess you could have a midnight snack if you feel peckish later lol:-) hugs jan xx

John Lawless December 29, 2016 at 10:14 PM SOMEONE CALL THE PLUMBER....THE DRAIN'S CLOGGED AGAIN,..........funny stuff Jan Jan Allison December 30, 2016 at 2:22 AM LOL John I think the comments have been as funny as the poem:-) Thanks for all your support and have a great 2017 and:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer December 29, 2016 at 5:09 PM Now that's more like it, Jan! This is right in your wheelhouse and it totally cracked me up! Thank you - I needed that laugh!!! Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 5:14 PM I'm so glad you dropped by Ilene - I never know where my muse will take me and am glad she's back to her humourous self again:-) hugs Jan xx Thanks for all your comments over the year do appreciate your support:-) hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith December 29, 2016 at 3:33 PM Are those nose hairs or a mustache? You'd need vice grips to pluck that. Funny stuff... Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 3:58 PM It looks like nose hairs to me - the pic sure is quite creepy to say the least!:-) hugs Jan xx

Adeniji Toluwalope Gideon December 29, 2016 at 2:52 PM This is serious! Very humourous. When you see her in the darkness, you'd better run. Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 3:59 PM LOL Adeniji:-) hugs Jan xx

Just James December 29, 2016 at 11:49 AM Still think more scary!! Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 4:03 PM The pic's pretty scary James lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus December 29, 2016 at 11:37 AM Thank you for the humour, Jan:):) That long beard will be quite handy tonight as the temperature over here is expected to go real low!! Hugs // paul Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 4:07 PM ha ha ha I hope you never have to grow one like that Paul! :-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. December 29, 2016 at 10:14 AM Lol! Jan, this is so funny. The picture alone had me laughing. Then I read the poem and literally laughed out loud. Your humor is so refreshing to the soup. Well done. A without a doubt seven:-) Alexis Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 10:18 AM Thanks Alexis I wrote a fun poem in response to Ilene's comment on my poem yesterday - it was a dark sad write and she is more used to my humourous side... but I never know where my muse will take me:-) hugs Jan xx

John Beam December 29, 2016 at 8:35 AM hahaha! very funny and so are some comments. Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 9:09 AM The comments are very amusing John:-) Thanks for dropping by too:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner December 29, 2016 at 8:34 AM Actually Jan you have written a poem on a semi hot topic in the US, transgenders. They were doing a story just the morning about a little boy (Transgender) who was kicked out of the cub scouts. I think the poem is funny, as I happen to be a very hairy male. I couldn't imagine a woman dealing with it. Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 9:07 AM Thanks for your comment Daniel. I agree hit is a very 'hot' topic and so any more people are aware of the issue. We had 2 transgender students at the school I worked at. As for bearded ladies they often used to work in the circus in freak shows ... think we have come a long way since then:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues December 29, 2016 at 8:05 AM Very funny! Enjoyed! Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 8:08 AM Thanks Kim:-) hugs jan xx

Tim Smith December 29, 2016 at 7:58 AM Lol...Quite the visual...I think I need to go shave Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 8:08 AM lol :-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen December 29, 2016 at 7:41 AM - Good and warm for the winter cold ... let their hair grow like weeds ... :))))))))) - Thank you for the year 2016, dear Jan ... Many smile .... much joy :)) - looking forward to a new year with new poems, smile and friendship :) - Best wishes for a happy new year ! - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 7:46 AM ha ha ha yes a bushy beard would keep my neck warm I guess... thankfully I was given a beautiful fur scarf so I am snug and warm already and there is no need for me to grow a beard this year lol:-) thanks for the fun and friendship from across the (s)miles:-) Have a wonderful happy and healthy 2017:-) hugs jan xx

Charmaine Chircop December 29, 2016 at 7:28 AM Yuk..You got me thinking of a hairy Sue...I really hate any hair anywhere on us women..except for the eye brows...Love those.: ):).This is very very funny.Couldnt stop laughing : ).You funny you.Happy New Year to you and your loved ones sweet one. Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 7:31 AM Thanks for the lovely comment and I hope you are resting up Charma - gee I never know what my muse will come up with, yesterday's poem was deep and sad so when Ilene commented I had to go with a funny one:-) hugs Jan xx

Chris Green December 29, 2016 at 7:05 AM This was funny Jan. I guess trying to shave those hairy nipples would be just a touch dangerous. :) Heck, even the thought of plucking gives me the creeps. Jan Allison December 29, 2016 at 7:12 AM Ha ha ha - yes it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it .. Not long after I joined I wrote a poem about 'Mary' - I do worry about my muse lol http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/bawdy_limerick_564549 :-) Hugs Jan xx