Battle of Divorce Part I

I find myself reminiscing on the days when I was a happy person. When I smiled all the time, laughed till my sides were hurtin'. When it didn't take much to make me giggle or even chuckle. This mountain of a man laughing until his knees would buckle. But lately, I don't seem to be that same old me any more. Someone hardened my heart, I walk with my face to the floor. With reasons few and far between I find it hard for me to smile. Keep my children in mind to brighten me up for a while. But that never lasts long because they soon will be gone. Laughing and playing with their mom, where did I go wrong? I said from death do us part, and I meant every word of it. Then she walked out and found another man for her to covet. Our three year old baby girl is left to just drift in the wind. Tension between parents, wondering where does she fit in. So her emotions are erratic not knowing how to behave. I cry to sleep trying to figure out how her heart can be saved. Muat be torture on an innocent soul to see the light go dim, And it's the duty of a father to show her the light she has within. But how do I do this standing in the shadow of a rain storm. A frozen heart wrapped in faith trying to find the warmth. Time to time the sun peaks out from behind black clouds. But it isn't long before the burdens of a lifetime are abound. On the date of my estranged wife and my anniversary I watched the joining of a man and woman in holy matrimony. Thought I was strong enough to put myself In that position, But something was stirring inside me and I didn't listen. Found myself at the bar shooting whiskey, sipping beers. Instead asking for help through the open ears of my peers. Drunk as can be, you could find me falling off the bar stools. Everyone pointing and laughing at the poor drunken fool. I just wanted to be home in that old familial picture. Instead I was residing in an empty bottle of liquor.