Bartender Tales

I am Kerris Hakim, bartender trade by night. Here at Fahrenheit Lounge I've heard Stories of patrons who dared to live, and lovers who had suddenly died. Graduating from law school without a dime. Over gin and tonic I've listened to all arrays of IRONIC. Husbands who didn't know Their husbands had wives. Then husbands who didn't know their wives were alive. All these stories and... Just one more for the road. Jack Daniels please. Don't tell me I'm to drunk to Drive. You can't FORCE me to stay alive. Give me my keys, now please! "You need a cab Mister Wallace", Kerris asserted. Ounces and ounces of hard liquor straight, no chaser. That was Mike Baker. "Maybe a BLACK Russian?" Kerris attempted to introduce something with less Potency. Mike Baker was stringent "Come on Hakim, you know me by now. I Go for hard Vodka. It's my weakness. No chaser. I've been a regular 7 years Now and my kidneys take me to the can. 7 years." "Here's your Vodka on the rocks, straight, no chaser." Kerris watched. Mike Lifted the glass, smiled and took a swallow. There are others and other lovers of those who stopped in just to sort their day Out. One day Ferdinand Cools stationed himself on a bar stool at the far end of the bar Opposite the door. As he watched every soul exit and enter he proceeded to tell me What my problems were. He didn't think I was competent enough to obtain more Secure employment. Reason being is that I'm inept at completing an employment Application. I laughed.... a lot. He was mostly sober just filling up on lite beer. I've had to shoulder plenty with this PLACE. Huge brawls, some really big ones Lasting all night. I swear to all, one night the SWAT team was called. More than Half the patrons were arrested. Last night one of our regular bar hops came in Talking that same old talk about how nobody loves her. She has no reason to live And nothing to give. I said to her, "Life is not as bad as you think. " "Here have some cold coffee ice tea on the house." He poured her a healthy mug. "I need a Long Island Ice tea." She muttered. Kerris asked her Where we're YOU a few hours ago. She replied, "Sizzling Sam's Bar And Grill been there all night." Good ole key in ignition condition Sam. Karen was starting to sober up. Lanikah D. Wadi Prosecuting Attorney/Child Advocate by day has graced the Establishment. What a vision. Very attractive. She sat down and glumly explained her latest case. A 14 year old kid was beaten to death by his parents for stealing $300 A fraction of the rent money which was due the next day. Both parents were charged with child abuse ,conspiracy to commit Murder and a slew of other charges. The father used a bat and the mother an extension cord. We will prosecute to The fullest extent. Finally, Jaret Jason his last man on deck was approaching. The place was ready to be locked down 2 customers and Max the bouncer. Remained. "Well my people It's been a stressful tiring day BUT Lock down is STILL 3 o'clock and that's in 30 minutes" Kerris repeated "LOCKDOWN 3 o' clock." "Hey Hakim ," they Bro hugged. "I'll have some Hennessey." Kerris left, and Shortly returned with a full bottle." On the house. It's the least I can do. Seems to me you are having problems ." Kerris took his seat as Jaret Sang his troubling story and Kerris's fortune of glory. He announced, he was leaving His wife but she doesn't know it. "I'm moving to Hawaii to live with my second Lover, my baby's mother." Kerris gave him his card and said " Kerris Hakim Attorney by day, bartender trade by Night."