Get Your Premium Membership

Ballad of Smorgasbord Cat

Ballad of Smorgasbord Cat

Once upon a hot July night
Smorgasbord Cat was born, not right.
The only kitten born with clothes,
She came out wearing pantyhose.

Blue bellbottoms when she turned eight,
Made her feel insanely great.
Her siblings bullied her for fun
But she was powerful, this one.

She’s odd, her mother told her dad.
But she’s so good, and seldom bad.
Where did she get her name? He asked.
I do not know, her mother basked.

Smorgasbord Cat soon ran a club,
She sold drink and delicious grub.
Her relatives all bragged her up.
She gave them each a special cup.

That cat lived to be ninety-three.
And now just between you and me,
I admit I gave her that name.
On a bet at a poker game.

Smorgasbord Cat has her own song.
Cross-eyed face, and red tail, long.
Yes, bawdy and funny, was she.
Married five times, litters of three.

Happy, joyful lots of fun,
Smorgasbord Cat, truly best one
At her funeral everyone came.
No one knows where she got her name.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Post Comments
Please Login to post a comment
Date: 12/5/2018 12:05:00 PM
Caren, you had me at the title and every line was delightful fun :)
Login to Reply
Krutsinger Avatar
Caren Krutsinger
Date: 12/5/2018 12:33:00 PM
Thank you. I have to find some way to entertain me.
Date: 12/3/2018 7:50:00 AM
Well, "to each, his or her own"...None of my cats were born in clothing...I wonder if they ever wore any of my clothing while I wasn't would explain some things like those strange teeny holes that appear in new clothes.
Login to Reply
Krutsinger Avatar
Caren Krutsinger
Date: 12/3/2018 8:52:00 AM
Yes, they do, but SH! How would I know? That's another poem.
Date: 12/3/2018 5:30:00 AM
"The only kitten born with clothes/ She came out wearing pantyhose" Bwahahaha! ;D So funny!!! (Also love how she got her name...) You are a riot!
Login to Reply
Krutsinger Avatar
Caren Krutsinger
Date: 12/3/2018 8:52:00 AM
I love naming and blaming stuff. This is my BEST ballad, and only my second try.