Ballad of Smorgasbord Cat

Ballad of Smorgasbord Cat Once upon a hot July night Smorgasbord Cat was born, not right. The only kitten born with clothes, She came out wearing pantyhose. Blue bellbottoms when she turned eight, Made her feel insanely great. Her siblings bullied her for fun But she was powerful, this one. She’s odd, her mother told her dad. But she’s so good, and seldom bad. Where did she get her name? He asked. I do not know, her mother basked. Smorgasbord Cat soon ran a club, She sold drink and delicious grub. Her relatives all bragged her up. She gave them each a special cup. That cat lived to be ninety-three. And now just between you and me, I admit I gave her that name. On a bet at a poker game. Smorgasbord Cat has her own song. Cross-eyed face, and red tail, long. Yes, bawdy and funny, was she. Married five times, litters of three. Happy, joyful lots of fun, Smorgasbord Cat, truly best one At her funeral everyone came. No one knows where she got her name.