Bag Whores

Bag Whores to my left. Bag Whores to my right. Bag Whores beating at my door, morning, noon and night. They know you got IT, and they’re looking for another free high. They all have the same old ‘Bag Whore’ Standard-Stock lie. Talking about how they plan to cop TOMORROW, But: Right now, they really need you to help them get by... And: ‘TOMORROW’ they will be sure to remember to call you before they ‘Drop On By’ Don’t even let a Bag Whore in the door, or you’ll be dealt in a very big way. Once they get in they just don’t go away. Once they’re in they’re not going away. This is the standard M.O. of a Bag Whore on any day. They’ll be grinding their teeth, and chompping at the bit. They’ll just can’t wait for you to give them a huge, bellowing, ‘Hoover Vacuum Type’ hit. The Bag Whore will hound you, pestering you until you break out your smoke. Then they fry your bowl and scorch your pipe beyond any hope. They always want more, even when you tell them it is gone. Next thing ya know, they’re melting down your stems, Your glass is etched and that is just too many shades of BAG WHORE DONE GONE AND WENT WRONG! You can always tell when a Bag Whore has a stash of their own, Because they are suddenly nowhere to be found. But once theirs is gone, they’ll be back, lurking about, just lingering around and blatantly hanging out. So the next time the neighborhood Bag Whore knocks on your door, just tell them that you have No More, No More, No More! And for God Sake, what ever you do: Don’t open the door. Loreen Parke May 8th 2004