Bad day at Stop And Shop
Jack had just escaped the local slammer
He’d struck the sheriff's car with a hammer.
He tried to look normal, in an aisle in Stop and Shop
But he wondered who might be an undercover cop.
Sally was unhappy, by the baked goods she would go
She wondered about her past, did other shoppers know?
An embarrassing movie, gone viral on the internet
She tried to look normal but was tormented with regret.
Harvey assured his family they could stay in the car
But his cart was getting full, with cakes and a chocolate bar
They were getting impatient, why was he taking so long?
His daughter had a date tonight, she felt this was so wrong.
Then the Stop and Shop robot got hacked, started racing too.
The hacker steered it after Jack, Jack thought someone knew.
Jack ran toward the exit, only to run into Harvey's cart
Harvey didn't like this and wouldn't let Jack restart.
I was looking for Mom, ducking around each cart
Finding that lady at the best of times is a real art
If I look in the dairy section, mom is by the beer and wine
If I'm in frozen foods, she's on the fresh fish line.
Mom was on her cell talking about an old classmate
She said out loud - "She was in that movie - not at all great"
Sally being paranoid, started yelling at my mom:
"Won't you all forget my past!" I couldn't keep her calm.
Harvey's daughter came in, she was really mad
Ran into Harvey confronting Jack, yelled "what kind of Dad?"
Jack looked around: the robot eyes shone green
Jack toppled the canned peas trying to escape the scene.
I pushed Sally to another aisle, but there was Harvey and Jack -
Plus that hacked robot, approaching as if it was on attack
Jack said "OK, I give up, it was just a cop car, I was drunk."
Sally pulled away from my chokehold, said "your mom's a skunk!"
The frantic employees converged, I said it wasn't my fault
Sally pointed to me, said I was guilty of assault
Jack thought Sally meant him, said he hit a car, not a man
I figured I better shop elsewhere, but Mom had another plan:
She wasn't going to leave, she had so many coupons to cash in
Then real cops came rushing, it seemed I couldn't win.
And somewhere a hacker is laughing, he can't stop
Telling his pals about his fun in Stop and Shop.
Copyright © Gideon Oknin | Year Posted 2025
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